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Devotion.al

Tag: relationship

  • Favor of Love

    Exodus 23:3, Deuteronomy 21:15–17, James 2:1–9

    Favoritism generally does not result in good things. By good things, we don’t mean financial gain. The normal “benefits” of favoritism is gaining influence or wealth to the detriment of another, usually by showing preferential behavior to an individual.

    Most of the time, favoritism is construed as the “weaker” party trying to curry favoritism with the “stronger” party. Usually, the intent would be wealth, power, or protection.

    However, that is not the only form of favoritism. There is a form of favoritism that shows preferential treatment for the poor or disadvantaged.

    We have, with good reason, developed a methodology to aid historically disadvantaged people. It is an attempt to show favoritism to those who were shown quite the opposite for generations. Regardless of one’s political perspective, God directs us to not show favoritism.

    Now, here is the narrow path we walk. We cannot fix a broken system or broken culture, for both are made of broken people, separated from God and in broken relationship with one another.

    What we can do is love each other. What is really hard is to, but is the most important, is to love each other without favoritism. How does that work? Often, poorly. We all have our friends. We have our “groups”. That collection of people with whom we are the most comfortable. Yet, when we show favoritism, we alienate. We dehumanize. Most of all, when we show favoritism we separate the people of God’s family from each other.

    1) What do you think of the word favoritism? What thoughts come to mind?

    2) Have you ever been a victim of favoritism? Have you ever shown favoritism?

    3) Why do we show favoritism? How does favoritism damage the family of God?

  • Just a Corner

    1 Samuel 24:1–19, Revelation 6:12–17

    The tug-of-war between King Saul and King-to-be David lasted a number of years. The man who could have been Saul’s Number One and led Saul to victory over the enemies of Israel was instead hunted by Saul. In many respects, Saul felt betrayed by David and probably God. David, on the other hand, definitely felt betrayed by Saul.

    Saul wasn’t betrayed by David or God. Instead, Saul failed God and himself. Saul tried to maintain his place and power, but the “weight” of God was against it. It was only a matter of time. What is interesting about this story is that God had removed his blessing from Saul, yet David still called Saul God’s Anointed. David still respected the original anointing despite the situation.

    Many people would not have blamed David if he had chosen to kill Saul. In that era, it would have been expected and often viewed as “right”. Still, David chose not to. This is one of those stories that people point to as supporting David’s righteousness (relatively). We need to view it as an appropriate response to betrayal.

    Robbers, thieves, murderers, and rebels hid in caves. The dead were put into caves. David may be viewed as a rebel who hid in a cave. However, unlike the kings of the earth and others who hid in caves to hide from God (Revelation), David hid to avoid Saul so as to live. The kings and rulers of the earth hid in the caves to die. It was as if they assumed by dying they would escape the wrath they knew was coming their way.

    Just like Saul, the kings and rulers of the earth were betrayed by themselves. The whole reason they wanted to hide in caves and die was that they had not fallen to their knees before the King of Creation. Yet, the King of Creation is not God of the dead. The King of Creation is God of the Living.

    Taking this in a creative (liberty) direction, David is often considered a prefigure of Jesus. Therefore, Jesus cuts off a corner of our garments of worldly wealth. He then lets us walk out of the cave of our own demise. He then presents us with proof of his grace. How do we respond?

    1) Interacting with people and having a relationship with them, probably means that if there is not actual betrayal, we may feel like it. Compare Saul’s, David’s, and Jesus’ responses to betrayal.

    2) When it comes to betrayal, far too often we look at the other before we look at ourselves. Think of a time you felt betrayed. How did you contribute to the situation?

    3) Betrayal and grace. Knowing that betrayal (or at least the feeling of it) will occur, how can we develop patterns of grace? How can we be better at not causing others to not feel betrayed by us?

  • Sown

    Lamentations 3:25–33, Matthew 13:3–9

    For there to be a harvest, there needs to be seed and sower. God’s love is both faithful and abundant. All too often, however, we treat God’s love as scarce. There is a concept called the “scarcity mentality.” This mentality is one that views things as a zero-sum game, and that there must be winners and losers, and supply is limited.

    Sadly, in many human relationships, there is a scarcity of love, trust, belief, value, acceptance. Our human relationships shape how we relate to God. So, when our human-to-human relationships are skewed, our relationship with God is, too.

    The problem is how that affects our ability to be the laborers in the fields of the Kingdom.

    The sower parable is interesting in that it represents God (to some degree). The sower isn’t sticking to a row of surety, but casting seed all over the place! What a mess! What a waste! What abandon! God already knows that much of the seed will not “bear fruit.” God does it anyways.

    We, however, often sow in scarcity or in nice, neat, controlled, little rows, stingily putting down seed, calculating the best yield for our efforts. The issue isn’t the yield, but the heart that sowed. We think we are being wise in our resources, however, one of the greatest risks is that our stinginess reflects our view of God.

    1)What is your view of God’s love and faithfulness? Does that view match your life?

    2) How do you see a scarcity or generosity mindset in others?

    3) How can you encourage the generosity mindset in others?

  • Sibling Strife

    Genesis 25:19–34, Genesis 27:1–45

    If you have siblings or multiple children, you probably understand the tension that exists between siblings. Often, the tension may seem completely silly, but it is still there.

    Rabekah’s War in the Womb was definitely a precursor to the strife between the brothers. Twins (or multiples) generally do push and pull (and kick and punch) each other as they try to get comfortable. In a place that usually fits one, in now shared by more than that. The room is not infinitely expandable (ask any mother of multiples).

    The quick glimpses into their lives and their relationship with one another are quite jarring. Esau did not seem to be a future thinker. Surrendering his inheritance for a bowl of stew is not a sterling example of good thinking. Culturally, it would be viewed as having contempt for his father. Isaac was asked to move as he was too powerful, wealthy, and successful. This is the inheritance that Esau sold to sate his stomach.

    Jacob is no sterling example, either. He took advantage of his brother’s hunger. Later, he took advantage of his father’s infirmities (granted, at the direction of his mother) to claim the blessing, too. He took the last thing that Esau could have received from his father. On top of that, his mother even told him it was his responsibility, despite setting him to the task. Then he ran away (again, at the direction of his mother).

    The history of Jacob is not a great example. This is the family into which Joseph was born.

    1) What lessons as a parent and as a child can we take away from this story?

    2) What emotional and spiritual baggage do you think a person would carry away from this family?

    3) Where do you see similarities to your own family story? What baggage did you get with that similarity?

  • Circumcised Relationship

    Genesis 17:1–14, Deuteronomy 10:14–22, Luke 1:59–80

    The ritual of circumcision existed before the people of Israel came into being (yes, Abraham was their forefather). This was a ritual the physically made the people of Israel different than those around them. It was (and is) the ceremony that “enters” a boy into the covenant. In the modern ceremony (which, in all likelihood, had similarities to the ceremony John went through), the parents respond with, “As this child has entered into the covenant, so may he enter into Torah, the wedding canopy, and good deeds.” This is also the time when the boy officially receives his Hebrew name.

    While we’re certain that John didn’t get married, he certainly learned (“entered”) the Torah and did “good” deeds. When we recognize the receiving of a name as part of this ceremony, we understand where the family is a bit confused regarding the name that John receives, which isn’t Hebrew. John’s name in and of itself indicates that John is set apart at the tender age of 8 days (plus the whole angel visitation) to be different. The Brit Milah is a big family occasion. What a time to make waves!

    While obeying the (Jewish) Law is good, obeying the Law for the Law’s sake is not. As we talked about a few days ago, the Law was never the point. It was a relationship with God. The event of Brit Milah was both the entering into the covenant community and recognizing the One who created that community…God.

    Often we get sidetracked by the good things: church, Bible reading, Life Groups, even prayer. As we “check-off” the list, we neglect a relationship with the One around whom all these revolve. The tasks overtake the relationship. That being said, there are far too many people who say, “I can worship God better (here) than at (church/life groups).” They might be correct…for a time. However, when we worship God in isolation, we become the only one who holds us accountable. Except in rare cases, that means the worship (let alone the relationship) fades away.

    When Moses talked about circumcising the heart, it wasn’t supposed to be a task to be “checked-off”, it was a relationship to be had.

    1) When we look at the tradition of circumcision, we can see the similarity with infant baptism. What are the similarities? What are the differences? Why do those differences matter?

    2) At the circumcision, there are 3 aspects of life that are addressed. What are they? How do they echo the Christian life?

    3) Age is no barrier to making waves; John’s parents were well advanced in years, and their son was 8 days old. What does this tell you about the age barriers in living the Christian life? What does this tell you about making a difference for God’s kingdom?

  • Freeing the Rules

    Psalm 119:153–168, Deuteronomy 6, Galatians 5:1–15

    Rules and regulations. We often don’t like them. At the same time, there are many who are calling for more and more rules and regulations. People want to control people’s thoughts and their expressions of their thoughts. People want to control others’ behavior, but don’t want theirs controlled.

    When Paul refers to the Law of the Jews (e.g., circumcision), there is a Jewish understanding that the Jews failed miserably to follow the Law perfectly. So, to do a better job of following the law that they couldn’t already follow, they added more laws.

    The whys of rules and regulations should often be more the focus than the actual rules and regulations. When Moses talks about the whys, it is contained within Deuteronomy 6:4–6. “Listen, Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart.”

    It’s not that breaking the rules wasn’t serious. It was. What was of primary importance was a relationship with God.

    Note also what comes after that, teaching and guiding others into that same relationship.

    Then, and only then, do we get to the rules. Many Bibles have a heading before verse 10 to the effect of Remembering God Through Obedience. So, the rules aren’t about the rules, they’re about God. For Christians, the “rules” of Exodus, Leviticus, and Numbers are more like guidelines, good and healthy guidelines for relationships, but guidelines. They are for a time and place and context, which isn’t ours.

    So, Christians create more rules. These rules are in many ways far worse than the rules of the Law. Many people use the “new” rules to condemn people to Hell, without knowing them. The rules are often used with fear and intimidation. That certainly isn’t the freedom that Paul was talking about.

    1) When you think of rules, what are your feelings? How do you feel when someone else breaks the rule? How about when you break the rules?

    2) Why do you think the rules and remembering are tied together? How does that affect the way you feel about rules?

    3) We all set rules and expectations regarding the behavior of others. What do you do when someone violates them?

  • To Grieve and Mourn

    Jeremiah 9:13–21, Job 6:14–30, Matthew 5:4

    Yesterday, when we were talking about misery loving company, we were ultimately talking about people without grace and generosity in their hearts. Today’s misery is very different.

    For today, misery needs company. We as a nation and as a culture are pretty awful at mourning. We have clinicized death, separating it from our lives, except for entertainment. The reason this is important is by separating ourselves from it, we have also lost the ability to mourn. We don’t even have the “professional” mourners and wailers that Jeremiah speaks of.

    Instead, many of us are like Job, feeling betrayed when our friends avoid or abandon us during our grief. You may be saying to yourself, “my friends haven’t done that” or “I have not done that to my friends”. If so, you and/or your friends have a ministry: to the church and the world. The church and the world avoid those feelings of loss and grief. The world and the church teach it differently, but the result is the same, “suck it up, and move on.”
    There is also a darker side to this, and that is when death occurs in an estranged relationship. Many of the same responses in an estranged relationship occur in “normal” relationships, for we are very much estranged from each other. In estranged relationships, there is often an “I don’t care” response. The problem is that if there are too many estranged relationships in one’s life, there is also a lot of emotional baggage that often doesn’t get dealt with.

    Jesus, however, promises that those who mourn will be comforted.

    1) If you are a follower of Jesus, and Jesus says that those who mourn will be comforted, what do you think that means for you?

    2) When you have grieved or mourned have you pushed people away? If so, why? If people “ran away” from you, how did that make you feel?

    3) When is and what makes grieving or mourning healthy and unhealthy?

  • Outdated or Worthwhile

    Numbers 20:1–13, Jeremiah 35:1–19, Matthew 15:1–20

    Traditions are wonderful things. They can bring peace and order. They can help a person find themselves and understand where they came from, and what has shaped them to this point.

    Traditions can also blind us. While slavery was not a “tradition”, the practices that had to be lived through enforced something very much like the worst instances of tradition, blind adherence. Moses faced the Israelites whose very identities were tied into slavery (perhaps even more than being Israelite). With those tethers severed, the Israelites found themselves wondering who they were. In the midst of trials and fears, they (like us) tried to return to what they knew, even if it wasn’t good for them, or was blind (really, all those rich foods weren’t for them).

    Then there are odd and strongly held traditions that seem to be pointless, but result in something positive. The Rechabites did not drink wine, still lived in tents, and did not act as farmers. All of that because their ancestor said not to. One could easily draw a line saying that the Rechabites’ tradition tied them to their past. In their case, it certainly did. Yet, something has to be inferred here. God praises their seemingly pointless traditions and their faithfulness in following them. With verse 19 we see the “fruit” of the tradition. The Rechabites appear to not only have followed their ancestor’s traditions, they also were faithful to God. The two, it can be inferred, were deeply tied together.

    According to Jesus, the Pharisees and scribes didn’t have their traditions tied so closely with a relationship with God. Jesus was pretty blunt with them. Their traditions blinded them that their relationship with God was damaged, if not non-existent. Which is even more devastating, as the intent of their traditions was to be better Jews, fulfilling the Law perfectly. As we now understand, however, fulfilling the Law perfectly is not quite the same as living it perfectly.

    1) What are your most precious church traditions? Do they truly draw you closer to God? Setting aside your emotional attachment, do they draw others closer to God?

    2) The Rechabites’ traditions echo similar “outdated” traditions of some denominations (like the Nazarenes). How do you think the Rechabites lived it successfully (being called out as faithful by God), while many churches (and denominations) don’t?

  • The Right Signs

    Deuteronomy 10:12–22, Romans 2:25–29, 1 Corinthians 7:17–24

    Circumcision has long been a sign of being Jewish. For many years, it was used to identify Jewish males and hold it against them. In Deuteronomy (Moses’ farewell address), Moses speaks of the circumcision of the heart. Moses defined circumcision as being fully devoted to God. There is a warning here that could easily be ignored, don’t rely on actions being evidence of your relationship with God.

    Paul’s struggle with the Jewish converts is that they often brought “the Law” with them. As Christianity had come through Judaism, there would be many well-meaning believing Gentiles (non-Jews) who would look to the Jews for wisdom regarding the right steps to take. The Jews would default to the way they were raised, the Law. Adult Gentile converts were looking to be circumcised so that they would be in the right. Paul wanted them to realized that physical circumcision was never the point.

    The same thing that Moses was trying to get through the Israelites heads (and hearts) was the same thing that Paul was still fighting, and trying to prevent the Gentiles from following the same path. He was pretty desperate on behalf of his spiritual children and grandchildren.

    Whether it was Rome or Corinth, the “battle” raged on. Minus slavery, we were called to remain as we were (e.g., if Jewish be Jewish, if Gentile remain Gentile) as when God called us. It was not our blood, our skin, our nationality, our wealth that saved us but trusting God.

    1) The church often falls into the same pattern of circumcision. The world does, too. Have you judged others’ or your salvation based upon tattoos, smoking, drinking, or the lack of them, or something else? How about the nation they came from, or the language they speak?

    2) Why do we have to always be on guard against actions rather than faith?

    3) Why do we often trust actions rather than faith?

  • Three Essentials

    John 16:12–15, 1 Peter 1:1–12

    The Trinity has long been a struggle. As the church began to mature, there were many struggles, discussions, and arguments over what exactly they believed. Out of those many discussions, creeds were formed seeking to unify the church in understanding. Many have tried (and continue to try) to dismiss creeds as “The Victor’s spoils,” meaning that because the creeds were what “won”, they are invalid. The argument being that there wasn’t a consensus, and those that did not agree were tossed out of the church, argue that the creeds were then just a source of power, control, and bullying. The reality is that the creeds defining the Trinity are essential to understanding who Jesus is.

    Jesus himself makes clear that there is definite relationship between Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Jesus conveys unified ownership (What is the Father’s is mine; what is mine is the Holy Spirit’s.). There is also the often ignored, but almost essential statement, “…you can’t bear them now.” The Greek implies an inability (i.e., immaturity) to be able to understand what Jesus means.

    Peter’s triune greeting shows us that while there is not an explicit understanding of the relationship of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, there is an understanding that the relationship is essential to the church and the faith. Why is this important? Why does it matter? As we move in the world, an incomplete understanding can be an issue, and can often lead to doubt or attack. While the Trinity is beyond the scope of a devotional, knowing what you believe, and why you believe it, gives you the firm foundation to walk as a Christian.

    1) When we read Jesus’ words in the light of our relationships, there is a strong mutuality of ownership. How do you see mutuality in your relationships with others? Do you see it in your church relationship?

    2) When it comes to hard-to-understand things in life and faith, how do you approach things?

    3) Peter’s words end with service. How are you serving others in the faith, whether younger or older?