Tag: grief

Fairly Cruci-Formed
Psalm 30; Lamentations 3:22–33; Mark 5:21–43; 2 Corinthians 8:7–15

Grace. Unmerited favor. Overwhelming love. Not words that would usually be associated with Lamentations. With the content of Lamentations being a result of the fall of Israel (and in particular, Jerusalem), it is peculiar to think of grace.

Lamentations is poetry, lament, and theology all wrapped into one. In Lamentations, probably more than even in Job, someone (or someones) wrestles with grief, loss, death, the (un)fairness of life, and other things that people question when in the throes of significant pain of the heart.

Despite all that they have gone through, including their recognition of their sin and transgressions, God hasn’t abandoned them. For a time, they would be wandering in a new kind of wilderness, but God would not let that way remain forever.

The world really isn’t fair. We often aren’t fair to the ones we love, or even ourselves. One of the biggest and most painful lessons we learn as children is that the world is not fair. What makes that even more interesting is that no matter how deep that wound is, there is something that we cannot tolerate about things not being fair.

Even in the verses of Mark, there are “not fair” examples. Some leader gets to ask Jesus into his home. Normal people wouldn’t get to do that. Some random woman touches his outer garment and is completely healed. There were probably others touching Jesus’ garment, and they didn’t get healed. It’s not fair.

Then Paul dares to ask the Corinthians to send money. He doesn’t demand it. He puts it in nice gentle language. He still wants our money. It’s not fair.

Except, Paul’s point, God’s point isn’t fairness. It’s not even reciprocity. It’s doing right because it is right. Not because it’s fair (or unfair, honestly).

Fair and right are often at odds. When we add time to the mix, it becomes even more difficult, for the long-term consequences may well change what is truly fair and right.

With this in mind, it is important for us, as followers of Jesus, to pursue fair and right from the perspective of God. Of course, what that means is up for debate in the current era, which is a problem in and of itself. When we are no longer able to determine fair or right, or we really the children of God?

※Reflection※
- What does fair mean to you? How does “fair” reflect the nature and/or character of God? What does a “fair” Christian do that a non-Christian wouldn’t?
- What does right mean to you? How does “right” reflect the nature and/or character of God? What does a “right” Christian do that a non-Christian wouldn’t?
- How do you learn and discern fair and right in your daily life?
※Prayer※

God of judgment, may the Holy Spirit shape and form us to be reflections of you in how we see and do fair and right. Amen.
2021 06 27
Joy to Tears
Psalm 22:25–31; Amos 8:1–7; Acts 8:1b–8

For many people, singing in worship of God is a significant part of their life of faith. They love the joy-filled worship of God.

The image provided in Amos takes those joy-filled songs and turns them into songs of pain, sorrow, and lament. The misery of the people of Israel (as conveyed by Amos) is that even their praise and worship had become crying and wailing. Think of a church service where all the joy was gone.

In many respects, after a number of incidents (9/11, Oklahoma City, and others) people would come to the church and grieve. Their feelings of pride and courage buried in the ashes of death. Yet, now, people don’t. We’ve had horrific things happen in our society and people aren’t looking to the church.

Perhaps we need a Saul. Perhaps COVID or Trump or Biden is our Saul. Perhaps it will be something else.

Saul persecuted the church. The members of the church left Jerusalem. The faith spread. The number of people who came to Christ grew.

We are in a state of discomfort. We, the church, are no longer sure of where we belong. We look at ourselves (the church) and wonder what’s wrong. We look at the world and wonder what’s wrong.

※Reflection※
- It can be hard to sit in the dark, when we want to be in the light of Jesus. Why is part of our purpose to be in (not of) the dark?
- What can the darkness teach us about the light?
※Prayer※

Lord, you called from the darkness into your light. You sent us back into the darkness to share your light. May we do your will. Amen.
2021 04 29
Journey Essentials
Psalm 107:1–3, 17–22; Numbers 20:22–29; John 3:1–13

Commentators have proposed many reasons why the event at Meribah warranted Aaron and Moses not making it into the Promised Land. The reason for the question probably has less to do with Moses than it does with Aaron. Aaron started making a golden calf when the Israelites were still fresh out of Egypt. Aaron rebelled against Moses. So, Aaron makes a little sense. It was Meribah, however, that was the deciding factor.

Regardless, there seems something peculiar and special about Aaron’s death. Moses and Eleazer (Aaron’s son) accompany Aaron to the place Aaron will die. Moses and Eleazer then witness (we can safely assume) Aaron’s death. The special aspect of this is the passing on of the legacy. Aaron would see his son wear the high priest attire, be anointed, and then die. Aaron was able to see that what he and Moses had the next generation to take their place (and Moses would have Joshua).

The passing off of the reigns as God intended is both a gift and a responsibility. There is a big drive to pass off the reigns to the “next generation” (and who that is depends on how old you are). This is indeed the goal. However, passing off a mess or a bad legacy is not fulfilling the responsibility that God has given us. Of course, blinding holding on is just as bad (and often worse).

We see some of this with how the Jewish tradition was passed to the next generation. Then the next generation would build upon that. The generation after that would build on some more. Not to put too fine a point on it, but when the wrong stuff is passed on and built on, we get the Winchester House of theology and relationship. If you’re not familiar with Winchester House, it was continually expanded and built upon by Sarah Winchester to supposedly appease all the spirits of all those killed by her husband’s invention of the repeating rifle (i.e., the Winchester rifle). There are staircases that go nowhere, doors that are useless, and other oddities. Its only use is a tourist attraction.

The purpose of a house is to provide protection and security, not to be an oddity whose only use is tourism. Religion and theology should be building up, improving, and understanding the relationship between humanity and God, not lead us into dead ends.

Jesus takes the passed on Jewish theology and turns it over and breaks it apart. Poor Nicodemus was quite confused by Jesus’ answer. We often look down on Nicodemus because he didn’t understand the obvious (to us) connection between baptism of water and of Spirit. Or we give him grief that in his confusion he didn’t approach Jesus (in a learning way) in the day. Instead, perhaps we ought to think of Nicodemus who was making sure he understood and making sure that the legacy he would pass on was right.

※Reflection※
- Of the faith/religion/theology that you have had passed you, what do you think needs to be stripped away to pass on a “cleaner” faith/religion/theology? Why?
- Of the faith/religion/theology that you have had passed you, what do think needs to be certainly passed on? Why? Is it biblically sound?
※Prayer※

Lord, as we look forward, help us to determine, with you as our guide, the best path to take, so that others may follow the path that leads to you. Amen.
2021 03 13
Wolves Invisible
Psalm 62:5–12; Jeremiah 20:14–18; Luke 10:13–16

Do you know the story of “The Boy Who Cried, Wolf”? The shepherd boy who falsely cried “wolf” so many times that after some time no one would come to his aid. Of course, as the case with moral tales, the real wolves came, he cried “wolf”, and no one came. He died.

This could be a tale of bearing false witness (the 9th Commandment). It also could be because not everyone has the same vision.

We see that all the time from politics, to businesses, to churches, to families. Each person has a slightly different “vision” of the future. Often, we criticize, minimize, denigrate, and insult those that have a different vision. It can be hard, especially if they’re family, yet those differences are the “spice” and “flavor” of life.

The 11 Apostles (remember, one of the original 12 died) received their commission, “I’ve received all authority in heaven and on earth. Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to obey everything that I’ve commanded you. Look, I myself will be with you every day until the end of this present age.” [Matthew 28:18–20, CEB]

Go into the [whole] world. Such a small thing. It’s kind of like a commencement address, full of a huge concept that sounds awesome and inspiring, then (just like commencement) on the other side, reality hits.

It is what is on the other side that reveals the foundation of our life.

The Psalmist that God is “rock and salvation”, a “stronghold”. If indeed humans are nothing but a breath, nothing but lies, and don’t even register on a scale (all from an “absolutist” infinite deity perspective), what little remains of a human‘s worth is based upon their foundation.

Jeremiah mourned the event of his birth. His grief was based on a couple of things. First, he was a “messenger of doom” for Israel. That was pretty rough.

Second, he mourned the hardness of heart of the Israelites. He couldn’t understand how the Israelites could be so heart- and faith-less toward God. The entirety of the story of Israel revolved around what God did!

Jesus’ reprimands to Chorazin, Bethsaida, and Capernaum echo what Jeremiah said. “Doom is coming. The consequences of your decision to harden your hearts and reveling in that hardness is coming.” (Ian’s summation)

The reprimand is a result of cities not welcoming the harbingers of the Kingdom of God (it’s more of an advance warning for when it happens). The disciples of Jesus were to be completely dependent upon the towns and people they would come to.

They were not sent with massive amounts of money, food, clothing, or protection (no weapons). They were sent as they were. They might have had a drachma or denarius or a few. They had a pair of sandals (which they were wearing). They had the clothes (again, that they were wearing). That’s it.

And off they went, the commencement of the first missionary event.

Most of us are uncomfortable with being missionaries. Regardless, the Great Commission is still our mission. You are a missionary right where and when you are now.

If you think there is no one that you are and are to be a missionary to, pray that God gives you the spiritual eyes to see who is before you. Perhaps why the church is so weak right now isn’t because we are “set aside” or are “unimportant”. Perhaps we have long forgotten that we are to not just be missionaries to the world; we are also to be missionaries to each other (the “bible-ish” word is edify).

Many of us are looking for that special answer or that perfect argument. Others of us want to be an example yet realize that compared to Jesus we are not much to look at.

We are called to cry, “wolf”, and the world doesn’t believe us. It’s hard to explain the wolves coming that they cannot see.

※Reflection※
- When we looking for the special answer, perfect argument, or being the example, what is the real foundation of that?
- Why is it necessary to be missionaries to one another (to edify)?
- The example of the disciples’ first missionary journey is not burdened with “stuff”. How can that be an example of our journey? What could be a wrong application of this lesson?
※Prayer※

Lord Jesus, you have called us to go into the world. Help us be the encouragers of others, that all your church—your bride—will reach the world for your name’s sake. Amen.
2021 01 22
Are You There Yet?

Romans 7:15-20; Philippians 3:12–21; 1 John 1:6–2:6

If you’ve ever been on a long trip, whether as a parent or a child, “Are we there yet,” is a common question. So common that some people can time when the next time the question will be asked. The “are we there yet” question is an event- and time-based question with an answer.

“Are we there yet,” when asked as a spiritual question is something completely different. In a performance-based culture, such as ours, there are often attempts to assess and evaluation the successfulness of our holiness.

If we are not careful, this can become overwhelming, and even deadly to our spiritual growth. If we are so concerned about how we are evaluated and what the measure is, we are often tempted to meet the “requirement” of action without the heart-change that we seek.

When we perform “holiness” through tasks and checkboxes we become as overburdened as the Jews had been for so long with their Law. Thus our “holiness” becomes an act of will. So, when we are tired, discouraged, down, or something else, our holiness house of cards comes tumbling down.

Paul wasn’t there yet. In Romans, he expresses his grief/frustration/reality that he keeps missing the mark of things. He recognizes a conflict between our human nature bent towards its own gratification, and our God-nature desiring to be in God’s grace, mercy, and love.

He also writes to the Philippians much the same way. He knows he is “there” yet. That doesn’t stop him from reaching toward the “goal” with all his might. In many respects, Paul’s “forgetting” is key to moving forward. We are all inclined to remember our failures (especially when they are painful). It is especially important to have someone to confess to and be held accountable by. Oddly, that seems to help us move on.

Then there is the “confession” that has been used for generations in some traditions regarding confession and redemption. The sin is an issue. The unconfessed, unrepented, and unreconciled (can be read as unforgiven, but not entirely accurate) sin is the bigger issue. When John talks about not being in fellowship, it is the unconfessed, unrepented, and unreconciled sin that “shows” we are walking in darkness.

Paul and John (and others) know full well that we have an advocate who is looking to judge us but to forgive us.

※Prayer of Confession from the Book of Common Prayer (2019)※

Almighty and most merciful Father,
     we have erred and strayed from your ways like lost sheep.
We have followed too much the devices and desires of our own hearts.
We have offended against your holy laws
We have left undone those things which we ought to have done,
     and we have done those things which we ought not to have done;
and apart from your grace, there is no health in us.

O Lord, have mercy upon us.
Spare all those who confess their faults.
Restore all those who are penitent,
     according to your promises declared to all people in Christ Jesus our Lord.
And grant, O most merciful Father, for his sake,
     that we may now live a godly, righteous, and sober life,
     to the glory of your holy Name. Amen.

2020 10 12
Protected

Protected

6 September 2020

Amos 7:10–17; Habakkuk 2:2–17

Critique and criticism sound very similar. They are often confused and misused. That they have the same root certainly doesn’t help. Critique and criticism, however, have different intents.

Critique is a thoughtful analysis of something with pointers provided for improvement. The pointers are intended to perfect one’s craft and are meant for self-improvement by the recipient.

Criticism is often less thoughtful and often a more emotional commentary of something. Unlike critique, the starting point is negative and is less about improving the other and more about lifting up the self.

The harsh words of the prophets were often viewed as criticism. Though there was anger and grief in the words (for God was angry and grieving), the intent was never the destruction of the Israelites or Jews. The intent was always to have them improve by throwing away their false worship and disregard of God.

The harshness came from the constant ignoring that occurred. The Israelites and Jews never seemed to be convinced by gentle and loving words. Before we criticize them, however, we need to critique ourselves.

One of the traits of humanity is the automatic assumption that critique is criticism. This is more a reflection of our own tendencies to criticize rather than critique. This is an important thing to recognize, for this also means we are often not open to improvement.

Our Christian walk is significantly impacted by this, as it means we are not open to even the Holy Spirit guiding us into all Truth, let alone feedback from our faith community. Our progressive sanctification (becoming more holy, or more like God) hinges on the surrendering of our will, and, perhaps more importantly, our ego and super-ego (to use Freud’s terms).

The human tendency is to protect our ego and super-ego. We don’t want to change. We want others to change, but not us. Any change we experience, we want to be without pain.

We all understand intellectually that this is unreasonable while we still seek to protect ourselves. In egotistical self-defense, we will assume that any critique is actually criticism and an attempt to harm us. We can look at social media, normal media, and see that exact behavior played out.

The Israelites were no different. They wanted to grab onto a dream the Jerusalem and the Promised Land were protected spaces and that they would come to no harm. They held onto this despite the surrounding threats.

By sending the prophets, he sought to help them see the error of their ways. Instead, they tell Amos to not prophesy against Israel. Habakkuk announced their egotistical ways and they opposed him.

※Prayer※

Lord Jesus, as we read about the lives of others in the Scriptures, help us to see our own failures in a brighter light than theirs, and guide us into the righteous life with you. Amen.

※Questions※

1) Think of the cultural issues currently surrounding us. Are we really all that different than the Israelites?

2) If the things around are being allowed by God, how should we be viewing them?

3) Thinking of critique and criticism, how can you improve your ability to receive and deliver critique, especially concerning spiritual matters?

2020 09 05
Bound Emotion

Bound Emotion

4 September 2020

Ezekiel 24:15–27; Jeremiah 16:5–9

There is something unusual about marriage. For whatever reason, a man and a woman have a special kind of relationship that transcends logic. There is a deep spiritual aspect to it that is part of the Christian marriage ritual, “what God has joined let man not separate.”

While this is the ideal, we are all far from the ideal. As much as there are men and women who are “2-become-1”, there are a great many couples were 1 plus 1 equals neither 1 nor 2. In most such cases, barring miraculous intervention, the couple separates.

A few decades ago, the concept of “no-fault” divorce was invented. In reality, it mostly seems to have been an “agreement” that the reason for the divorce was something other than infidelity (whether of sexual or other nature) and that it was okay. This was a “thumb the nose” at the church, but it was also a recognition that the church often failed to understand this sacred institution.

The deep deception of “no-fault” divorce was the perception that “no-fault” meant “no hurt”. Divorce hurts. Sometimes it is the path to divorce. Sometimes it is the event. Sometimes it is the result. Sometimes it’s all of it.

There is something deep within us that understands marriage is not to be trifled with. This is why younger generations are putting it off, even while cohabitating. This is also why same-gender marriage became a cultural phenomenon.

Despite powerful and public peoples’ often peculiar and sometimes alliance driven marriages, most normal people see something transcendent in marriage. Even in this day and age where divorce in the church is as high (if not higher) as the culture around. There is still something.

Imagine then what it would be like to receive the message as Ezekiel did. While you may have received, for example, the news that a loved one was going to die, or even suddenly died, you had the ability to grieve. Ezekiel was commanded to not grieve. Just as he would soon bury his wife, he would bury his feelings.

Males are, granted, more likely to tuck their feelings away. However, just as we are often tempted or even driven to disobey when commanded to do (or not do) something, imagine Ezekiel being commanded to not grieve, which probably made the loss of his wife even more pronounced on his heart.

While the Scriptures do not say that Ezekiel stands figuratively in the place of God, it does make sense. The precious bride (Israel) is about to die (conquered and exiled). This is a result of sin and corruption. God, therefore, cannot grieve for God’s holiness was denied. If God were to grieve, God might protect Israel once more, allowing it to fall even more deeply into depravity.

This gets even darker in Jeremiah’s words. Jeremiah is banned from lamenting with any family who has lost a loved one. In other words, lamentation has become a luxury. The gift of lamentation has been taken away. The gifts of consolation, commiseration, and sympathy have also been taken away. Through their disobedience, the deepest loss is now only a fact. Hearts and feelings must be set aside.

※ Prayer ※

Father God, we are thankful for your never-ending mercy. Give us the wisdom and discernment to be bearers of your compassion, mercy, and love for all of those who are grieving in these days. Amen.

※ Questions ※

1) What does it mean to lament, to you? How is that different from being sad or grieving, if anything?

2) Have you ever repressed really strong emotions? Why? What were the lingering effects?

3) In Jewish/Israelite society, grief and lament were semi-public community events. How did that work in the church pre-COVID? How does it work now?

2020 09 03
Lamenting Forward

Ezekiel 2:1–3:3; Lamentations 3:17–33; Ecclesiastes 3:1–8

There are two prevailing feelings currently: fear and anger. Neither one is productive over time. In the end, they can destroy a person emotionally and spiritually.

Ezekiel ate words of lament, mourning, and woe. In the vision, the edible scroll tastes a sweet as honey. At the same time, there was no joy in the words themselves.

One of the biggest lessons that the current atmosphere can teach us is that we need to mourn what we have lost. We are even still in the midst of losing our perception of culture(s), country, and even church. We fight the loss.

We don’t want to lose all that we hold dear. At the same time, there is another feeling that is harder to quantify… God is doing something new. We don’t know what that new is, which causes us to be even more emotionally reactive.

God can (and does) handle our anger and fear. God is greater than that. We, though, need to lament, grieve, and mourn.

When we lose a loved one, we miss them. We grieve. We mourn. We understand that it is not only acceptable, it is also healthy. We also must—as hard as it is—find a way to move forward.

That is currently the way many things are right now. One of the great difficulties is to choose what to mourn and move past, and what to struggle for. As the situation around COVID continues, we will continue to have to work and walk together to find a way forward.

We all must be grace-filled as people struggle with their grief masked in fear and anger. Only the God of hope can turn the anger and fear into a drive to move forward in faithfulness. Let us all be people of hope.

※Prayer※

Heavenly Father, guide us to be people of hope, not just any hope, but the hope of the crucified and risen Son. Amen.

※Questions※

1) What is one thing you are angry about right now? How about fearful? What about grieving?

2) If you were to rank each of these in order, what would they be, and why?

3) Which of these has the greatest effect upon your Christian walk? How so?

2020 08 11