Devotion.al

Tag: grief

  • To Grieve and Mourn

    Jeremiah 9:13–21, Job 6:14–30, Matthew 5:4

    Yesterday, when we were talking about misery loving company, we were ultimately talking about people without and generosity in their hearts. Today’s misery is very different.

    For today, misery needs company. We as a and as a culture are pretty awful at mourning. We have clinicized , separating it from our lives, except for entertainment. The reason this is important is by separating ourselves from it, we have also lost the ability to mourn. We don’t even have the “professional” mourners and wailers that Jeremiah speaks of.

    Instead, many of us are like Job, feeling betrayed when our friends avoid or abandon us during our . You may be saying to yourself, “my friends haven’t done that” or “I have not done that to my friends”. If so, you and/or your friends have a ministry: to the church and the world. The church and the world avoid those feelings of and grief. The world and the church teach it differently, but the result is the same, “suck it up, and on.”
    There is also a darker side to this, and that is when death occurs in an estranged . Many of the same responses in an estranged relationship occur in “” relationships, for we are very much estranged from each other. In estranged relationships, there is often an “I don’t care” . The problem is that if there are too many estranged relationships in one’s life, there is also a lot of emotional baggage that often doesn’t get dealt with.

    , however, promises that those who mourn will be comforted.

    1) If you are a follower of Jesus, and Jesus says that those who mourn will be comforted, what do you think that means for you?

    2) When you have grieved or mourned have you pushed people away? If so, why? If people “ran away” from you, how did that make you feel?

    3) When is and what makes grieving or mourning healthy and unhealthy?

  • Deceptive Misery

    2 Corinthians 9:6–11, Matthew 6:16–18

    Misery loves company, so it is said. By misery, we aren’t talking sadness, , or mourning. We’re talking about the attitude of heart, soul, and mind that finds the worst in it all and revels in it.

    Sadly, there is often a strain of that in the . “Look at what I gave up” or “I give to help those…” In traditions, such as ours, that has long been a tendency. What is always amazing is how it is often dressed up in “doing the right thing” or “not being of the world” or “not putting ourselves in the way of ”. This might sound a bit snarky. There are a lot of people who honestly mean it. Yet there is a strong (and often loud) group where they want the attention for the activities they avoid, rather than out the grace bestowed upon all believers by . They are often miserable.

    When we read ‘s words in 2 Corinthians 9:6–11, we (reasonably and rightfully) see wisdom regarding and actions. Yet, the “right” actions (including giving money, time, and effort) need a basis of generosity and grace, not misery. Hearts focused on God’s immeasurable generosity and grace will be far more inclined toward sharing it with the world.

    Jesus’ words echo this when talking about those that add to their physical discomfort (hunger) and add a deliberately poor appearance. They were happy together in their misery. They took in their misery, using it as a source of pride, control, and influence.

    We can look around us and see many of the same tendencies in the secular world. It is not immune.

    1) As we have the wisdom of God in the scriptures, and the words of Jesus, how can we teach (in and out of the church) to not live the life of self-righteous misery?

    2) What are your thoughts about how an attitude of grace and generosity can fulfill Paul’s words?

    3) How does fasting and giving in private add or subtract from an attitude of grace and generosity?

  • Sacred Mourning

    Psalm 25, Lamentations 3:22–27, Matthew 27:62–66

    Are your clothes in 1 piece? One of the traditional Jewish responses of extreme grief or anguish is the tearing of their clothes. Yesterday was . Jesus died on the cross. Are your clothes torn?
    While they were able to put Jesus’ body in the tomb in time, nothing else happened. Everything just stopped. On top of their world being disrupted by Jesus’ , now they had to wait to honor the body of their friend, master, brother, son. In our day and , we don’t have this waiting period. We just get it done.

    Today, people will have Easter egg hunts, parties, gatherings, trips, and so on. This is not to knock such, after all, often they are a way we (as Christians) get to share the good news.

    However, perhaps it is time for us to come up with a new tradition, a Sabbath unlike any other that we hold (if we actually observe any). It is probably too late for you this year but put this as something to think about. Perhaps we too busy preparing for Resurrection Sunday that we stop waiting. Why is this important, you may ask? It is a symptom of our lives and even our religious practices. Hurry up and get it done. When this is how we live our lives, how do we ever have the ability to wait for and on God?

    In the movie, the Passion of the Christ, there is a raindrop from the sky, implying that God the mourns. Let us mourn with God the Father, and with all those who lived beside Jesus. Below is the Mourner’s Kaddish, a Jewish usually spoken in Aramaic (not Hebrew, interestingly). While there may be no “leader” (L) to lead you the people (P), think of a congregation saying this in an annual (for it is done annually in honor of those who have died) service.

    L: May His great exalted and sanctified…
    P: Amen
    L: …in the world that He created as He willed. May He reign to His kingship in your lifetimes and in your days, and in the lifetimes of the entire Family of Israel, swiftly and soon. Now say:
    P: Amen. May His great Name be blessed forever and ever.
    L: Blessed, praised, glorified, exalted, extolled, mighty, upraised, and lauded be the Name of the Holy One.
    P: Blessed is He…
    L: …praise and consolation that are uttered in the world. Now say:
    P: Amen
    L: May there be abundant peace from Heaven and life upon us and upon all Israel. Now say:
    P: Amen
    L: He Who makes peace in His heights, may He make peace, upon us and upon all Israel. Now say:
    P: Amen

  • A Seeking Heart

    Psalm 105:1–15, 2 Chronicles 20:1–22, Luke 13:22–31

    We often feel powerless in comparison to the world around us. The current pervasive feeling is that normal people do not have a voice in the government that is supposed to be theirs. Many people feel powerless in the face of medical issues, general health issue, job issues, issues, and so on. It is easy to become overwhelmed by what we cannot do. Embrace the powerlessness.

    Sounds strange, doesn’t it? Yet, the story of Jehoshaphat is a story of a people, and their king, who recognized their powerlessness in the face of enemies far beyond their ability to deal with. Jehoshaphat embraced his powerlessness. He acknowledged it. He put it before God. God doesn’t always do something miraculous like what happened here. The miraculous is God. The powerlessness is ours. What do we do with our powerlessness? Do we study harder? Work harder? Pray harder?

    The multitude of Judah (entire families) publically placed their before God. True is often the greatest parents and grandparents can to their children and grandchildren. It wasn’t that long ago that men and women were to hide their paid either behind plastic smiles or stoic faces. , toil, grief, depression, mourning, were all to be hidden, for they were a weakness. The families of Judah had no shame in sharing this. God saved them.

    Theirs was collective . When we come to Jesus, there is both collective and personal salvation at stake. In particular, the narrow road and gate are more personal than collective, but the separation between the two is not as clear as we like to think. Think about the opening question regarding the number of people to be saved. That’s the wrong question! In another place in scripture, there is a similar question regarding the requirements to be saved. Again, that’s the wrong question! Actually, that’s the wrong orientation.

    Jesus’ intent is heart orientation. If we are always trying to figure out the limits, we aren’t aiming for the heart. Think about marriage. If one marries another, saying what can I get away with and still be married, it doesn’t sound right, does it? Marriage isn’t about our joy, but what we do to make the other happy. A with Jesus is very similar in that regard. While Jesus’ words sound harsh, “get away from me evildoers,” it is that heart orientation: a heart seeking to do (what can I get away with), versus a heart seeking to make Jesus happy.

    1) Have you ever thought, what can I get away with and still be saved?

    2) If you said, “no,” has your behavior matched, “no”, or has your behavior really matched, “yes”?

    3) How do powerlessness and the narrow road go (they do)? What does that tell you about the Christian life/walk?

    FD) Why do you think Jesus talks about the door being narrow? Why narrow? Why a door?

  • Be Being Prepared

    Psalm 54, Acts 20:16–32

    Be gracious. How many times did you hear someone say, “If I were God…,” or have you said that yourself? Most of the time, those four words do not result in a gracious response. In fact, they are usually the introduction to something vengeful or self-righteous.

    Sometimes we do hear a gracious response after those four words, but then how often is our response to that grace…grace-filled. It’s sad, but often grace is not the initial human response.

    Despite our own orientation to grace-less-ness, we still look to God for grace-full-ness. Why is it that we expect more out God’s response than we deliver on our own?

    Deep down, beyond our conscious thoughts, we have an understanding that grace should be the way of things. As we all know, and as the psalmist states, we are among people whose “…teeth are spears and arrows, whose tongues are sharp swords…” Sadly, we are often those same people to others.

    Even sadder, sometimes we are that way to those we hold closest in our hearts. The psalmist takes a breath…and then… GOD! God is faithful! that God is faithful often allows us to be grace-filled, even when highly distraught or distressed, as was on his way to Jerusalem.

    As Paul gives his farewell address to those he loves personally and deeply, he summarizes his time in Ephesus. There are some things we should be taking from Paul’s address. First, he sought to be humble. We know that Paul was smart.

    Often smart people as though they are better than others, just because of their intelligence. Paul made the case that wasn’t this way with him. He did not shy away from telling what needed to be told (profitable). It also tells us that others said many things that were not “profitable” to the Ephesians. This was one of Paul’s deep concerns.

    He warned the Ephesian elders to be aware of those that would tear the innocent apart and lead them astray. He is telling them to grow up. They will no longer be able to rely on Paul to be the leader, but they are now responsible. Paul reminded them of the tears he shed as he spoke the , not just of God’s grace and kingdom, but that people will come (who might even be friends) that will try to destroy the of the Ephesians.

    He is doing those last minute reminders. He believes that this journey to Jerusalem will be the of his journey, and wants them to both for grief and to wear the mantle of leadership.

    • 1) In his address to the Ephesians, Paul mentions the “…the of God’s grace…” Why is that especially important for Paul as he looks to the end of his journey?
    • 2) When we look at the psalmist’s words about the “speech” of humanity, how can the gospel of God’s grace respond?
    • 3) Paul’s history with Ephesians, and his effectiveness with them was built over years. What does that tell about the of faith?
    • FD) Why does Paul use the imagery of sheep for the people of the church and wolves for the people outside of the faith (not necessarily outside of the church)?