Tag: relationships

Community Essentials
Psalm 133; John 20:19–31; Acts 4:32–35; 1 John 1:1–2:2

Security is a very important thing. In many respects, a number of the high-profile political arguments are over what exactly is security. Differing opinions of what includes security and the perception of who is responsible for such security can really create the potential for discord.

The reason security should be part of our analysis of (in practicality) policies and reactions. Life experiences can dramatically affect one’s personal perception of security, and may dramatically affect what one considers essential for security.

As we read Psalm 133, the essentials of security were pretty minimal. Modern conveniences didn’t exist. Concepts such as hospitals and medical care would exist until centuries later. Food, wild animals, and war were the biggest security things. Security was generally among one’s “brothers”. In other words, family was security. Security was also firmly ground on God’s blessings.

We can find unity in many things. Often unity goes hand-in-hand with security. The disciples were unified in their following of Jesus and their fear. Fear would not seem to be a security characteristic. Yet fear often drives the pursuit of security, and fear often provides a unifying characteristic so that people are united in pursuing the same security with the same motive.

The unified fear of the Disciples after the crucifixion of Jesus was transformed into a unified sharing of resources that we see in Acts. This passage in Acts is often held up as one of the litmus tests of “true” Christians and the “true” church. There is an ideal in it that most of us can appreciate; look out for the benefit of others.

The part that those that hold this up as a litmus test disregards what got them there in the first place. First, we had the unifying story of the 11 original Disciples. Then in the same spirit of unity, the greater circle (of at least 60 or 72) raised 1 of their number (Matthias) to the 12. Then, as the group expanded, there were the struggles that the people of the church has with the Jews and with the Romans. Again, shared fears (and realities) created security in unity.

This creates emotional security that allows one to be free to care for others in a way that is rarely seen in human history. Even in more collectivist cultures, what is described in acts is unusual.

This is not to say that we shouldn’t strive for it, but this unique time and place should not be a litmus test for the “perfection” of one’s faith and one’s church. In many respects, those that use it as a litmus test are using worldly stuff (i.e., mammon) to define “real” Christians.

The real litmus test can be found in 1 John. A community that submits to be held accountable to the Word of God, and to each other. True unity is knowing that your fellow Christians are looking out for your interests, in particular, the growth up, wide, and down of your faith in and relationship with Jesus Christ.

To be fair, this kind of community is often harder to find than a community that shares stuff. Be so united, loving, and trusting with one’s self (versus one’s stuff) is probably the highest bar to hurdle.

※Reflection※
- Can you imagine a community of commons, such as the one in Acts? What would you expect of such a community towards you (and your family) and towards others? How about those outside the community? What would be the requirements of membership in such a community?
- Are you in a community where your spiritual struggles and growth are shared, encouraged, strengthened, sharpened, and questioned (for improvement)?
  - If not, what would it take for you to be in one? How would you get started with one? Should you?
  - If so, how did the group form? How would you keep it together and focused? What are lessons from it that you can share so that other groups like yours could be formed?
※Prayer※

Almighty and everlasting God, who in the Paschal mystery established the new covenant of reconciliation: Grant that all who have been reborn into the fellowship of Christ’s Body may show forth in their lives what they profess by their faith; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.
Second Sunday of Easter Collect, Book of Common Prayer 2019
2021-04-11
The New Communal
Psalm 133; Daniel 1:1–21; Acts 2:42–47

Most of us have at least one food dislike. I read this story of Daniel and I’m not sure how I would do living with Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah. Only vegetables? Eventually, I suppose, I would get accustomed to it, but…just ew. Vegetables.

At this point in my family, there is tension over vegetables. One member has gone vegetarian (mercifully, not vegan). You can imagine the dinner difficulties between that person and myself. Finding ways to eat together becomes challenging. Eating together is one of the big features of communal living.

Even in monasteries and convents, meals are more communal than worship and prayer time (usually). There is just something about it that breaks barriers. Greatly dysfunctional and unloving families can actually get along while food is being consumed.

It’s not hard to imagine that Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah ate in the presence of the other “competitors”, but were viewed as strange due to their lack of meat and wine consumption. That probably solidified both their relationships with one another. It also likely reinforced their “Jewishness”. Communal activities are significant in forming mutual identity. It is no coincidence that the church grew despite opposition. Communal identity was formed through worship and daily meetings.

This is one of the biggest issues facing the US at this point…a lack of formative communal activities. The formative piece is important. We are all part of various communal activities. It could be walking the neighborhood and greeting neighbors. It could be sitting in the same season ticket seats for a sporting event (Go, Tips! Go, Kraken!). It could be leading or participating in community fundraisers. There are so many options!

The freedom of choice also means that people may have a singular common interest, but not any others. When you have a communal activity with one group during a set time (like a hockey game), that doesn’t mean you will have communal time with those people at other points. In fact, you both may have other competing communal activities.

The time of COVID has had some dramatic effect upon this. People have become more isolated than before. Children who used to play together were often prevented from doing so. People have been consuming all sorts of content to fill the “gaps”. Most of this consumption was alone…sort of.

What it takes to build a communal identity hasn’t really changed, but the modes have. People are building real relationships through the internet (not Facebook “friends”, Twitter “followers”, or YouTube “subscribers”). They are forming identities on and through the internet (extremist and conspiracy theory groups are prime examples).

It is hard to grasp how people will form communities without the frameworks that we are familiar with (in-person church, sporting events, potlucks, etc.). The question isn’t whether, it is how.

※Reflection※
- What communal relationships and identities can you think of for yourself?
- How were these relationships and identities formed?
- Do you feel as connected to these relationships and identities as you have before? What has changed? What has remained the same?
※Prayer※

Almighty God, you show those in error the light of your truth so that they may turn to the path of righteousness: Grant that all who have been reborn into the fellowship of Christ’s Body may show forth in their lives what they profess by their faith; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen. [Easter Thursday Collect, Book of Common Prayer 2019]
2021-04-08
To Live As Sacrifice
Psalm 105:1–11, 37–45 Genesis 22:1–19; Hebrews 11:1–3, 13–19

Post-traumatic stress is a real thing. There are many sources of trauma. We generally think of violence as the only source of trauma, but damaged relationships are equally the source of trauma for many individuals. Just like other forms of emotional scars, trauma may take years to heal if it ever does.

Some people have been miraculously cured of the various issues of trauma. They are not the norm. Many of those that still suffer from PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) don’t even recognize that they have it as they have not been taught how to perceive it.

Often, we don’t recognize potential PTSD in the scriptures. We often put it aside or dismiss any possibilities because “they were real ‘men’” then. Reminds me of the stories of the ’50s, and how great everything was with families and gatherings. The dark side of that being the mass amount of alcohol that was consumed not so obviously. One could easily conclude that the mass consumption of alcohol was a “tool” to numb the pain of World War II’s PTSD.

Imagine Isaac—the recipient of Abraham’s love and expectation —when his father ties him up and puts him on the woodpile intended for the sacrifice. The sole inheritor of Abraham and Sarah must have been shocked. He must have also felt betrayed. We can only imagine the effects that had on Isaac’s and Abraham’s relationship.

There may well have also been an impact on Isaac’s relationship with God. Many people feel betrayed by God because a loved one died, or because their life isn’t what they want or imagined. Being a literal sacrifice to God didn’t seem to affect Isaac’s faith in God overall, but it’s hard to see how that didn’t color Isaac’s view of God either.

Walking through life as “the almost sacrifice”. What a strange feeling, even at the end, that must have been.

As Christians, we continually observe the sacrifice that Jesus Christ was for us and for all of humanity (and Creation). If Jesus Christ sacrificed his life for us, we too are almost a sacrifice.

The Nation of Almost Sacrifices. What a fabulous ring it has to it! How could anyone not want to be part of that? Right? You just can’t wait to go there!

Except the author of Hebrews notes that plenty of people died before the fulfillment of the Messiah. Many of them waited for the Messiah. Many of them were waiting for the first Holy Nation of Israel. Others were waiting for the next Holy Nation of Israel. Some even today wait for the next Holy Nation of Israel.

Waiting for God’s timing is indeed often a sacrifice. Sometimes it can be our pride (of nation, gender, profession, race, wealth) that needs to be sacrificed. Other times it is our assumptions that need to be sacrificed.

The Christian Walk often seems to be one of constant almost sacrifice. However, the almost isn’t one of, “I almost did it.” It is one of, “I surrendered it, and God gave it back.” So, no, we are not to be a nation of almost sacrifices. We are to be a nation that has sacrificed and sacrifices continually. This not a sacrifice of misery, but a sacrifice of response to the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords who sacrificed for us.

※Reflection※
- What does sacrifice mean to you?
- What does it mean to live as an almost sacrifice? What about an actual sacrifice? What about living a life of sacrifice?
※Prayer※

Lord, we often don’t know what it means to live sacrificially or to live a life of sacrifice. Help us to know the cross that is ours to pick up. Amen.
2021-03-02
God and Relationships
1 Corinthians 7:25–40

God and Relationships is a pretty big topic. First of all, we have to set our starting point. God is a relational God. God created humanity in relationship with God.

The first human was Adam. One thing to keep in mind with Adam is that according to some translators and some Jewish traditions was without gender upon initial creation. It wasn’t until the “rib” was removed from Adam that the division of gender came about. This flies in the face of much of the Christian tradition, I understand, but it further emphasizes “two shall become one” and that it occurs (with the realm of Eden, before the fall) between man and woman.

This seeming aside is also important as God declared that it was not good for humanity to be alone. This is peculiar in that if God is in a relationship with them, then the human wasn’t alone. Even at the point of Eden (again, before the Fall), God understood (even created) the situation that a human would need human fellowship. It’s odd to say that God wasn’t enough, yet human history shows that there is something fundamentally different in human-to-human relationship versus human-to-God relationship.

Therefore, with all of this before us, there is a tension from the beginning of man and woman, their relationship with God, and their relationship with each other. The inherent need of humanity for relationship also extends, eventually, to fellow humans. God desires a relationship with humanity. Humanity needs relationship with humanity (even we strong introverts).

This may seem to be a lot of preamble. Human relationships are at the core of Paul’s message to the church.

We primarily focus on marriage because it is culturally (and often personally) significant. There is good reason to focus on it. There is also good reason to ignore it in these verses.

Paul makes it clear that while he is spiritually led regarding the church and the gospel (more at the end of these verses), he also has no clear direction from the Holy Spirit (at the beginning of the verses). This means that these verses, in particular, need to be viewed in context. Paul’s perspective is that Jesus would be returning shortly (days, weeks, months, maybe a year or so). Paul has an end-times view. Why, from Paul’s perspective, would you confuse the little remaining time in your life with that kind of intimate and focused human relationship?

Paul writes in 2 Timothy 3:16–17, “All Scripture is inspired by God, and is profitable for teaching, for rebuking, for correcting, for training in righteousness, 17 so that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.” When we take context into consideration, we must also keep this passage in mind.

Paul’s highest concern is the Corinthians’ (and our) relationship with God through Jesus Christ. Paul recognizes that often our human relationships hinder our relationship with God. This can be a result of trauma from childhood to the spouse who has changed (or us who changed). Even healthy relationships may distract or interfere with a relationship with God. An unhealthy relationship will hinder it even more.

Our relationships with fellow humans really do deeply affect our relationship with God. One could even go so far as to say that if your relationships with humans are broken, so is your relationship with God. Yep, that one stings.

※Reflection※
- What human relationships did you think of as being damaged? How might those relationships inhibit your relationship with God?
- What human relationships can you think of that are good or great? How might they inhibit your relationship with God?
※Prayer※

God, we often say you are first in our lives, but the human relationships in our lives sometimes say different. Grant us discernment, healing, and grace to make them be what is best regarding our relationship with you. Amen.
2021-02-01
A Promise

Isaiah 44:21–28; Ezekiel 34:25–31; Mark 14:22–26

Remember. We are called on to remember things every day. Some have become so ingrained (putting undergarments, I hope) that we don’t actually remember them; we just do them.

Like many things that are ingrained, relationships aren’t. We might take them for granted, but that doesn’t make them ingrained.

Isaiah’s call to the descendants of Jacob was REMEMBER! Remember God, who formed them, called them and redeemed them. They needed to be reminded…again.

This time, they are called to celebrate. Celebrate freedom. Celebrate redemption. Celebrate a relationship with God.

The unfolding of their redemption, eventually, results in a new covenant of peace. This new covenant was to change the very face of the Promised Land.

The promise of this covenant was delivered while talking about their return from captivity and exile. This makes the promise sure, as they were indeed delivered. So, where was the fulfillment of this new covenant?

We Christians say that of course, it is Jesus. Jesus’ life and death personified the concepts of relationship and redemption. The Resurrection is the exclamation point of the promise in Ezekiel.

In the Kingdom of God, the lion and the lamb lie down together.

※Reflection※

For you, what is the most important fact about God’s promises? Why?

※Prayer※

God, you have been faithful to us, even when we wander. We give you praise, glory, and thanks for your grace-filled love. Amen.

2020-11-20
Dripping Prayer

Proverbs 27:15–16; Luke 11:5–14; Luke 18:1–8

Persistence is often a good thing. However, blind persistence can also be incredibly limiting. As my younger children are about to begin their college journey (yes, still a few months to go), I look back to my time in college. I chose a major I wasn’t skilled at. I chose a major that I would not be successful at.

I chose the wrong major for a dream. For 4 years I pursued that major. The result? Another school, another (bad) major, and finally dropping out of college.

But I was persistent, and I was a fool.*

There is no doubt that some people find great success in being persistent. What is often not recognized in that is their innate skill, passion, or support, which can make all the difference.

Sometimes the persistence can be like a drip on a rainy day. You can’t get the sound out of your head, even though you “know” your roof is good. It beats on your head and in your heart. Sometimes it tricks you into thinking that your roof really is leaking.

While the nagging wife could be considered persistent. That kind of persistence (whether it be wife, husband, mother, father, whomever) is generally destructive. It destroys hearts, souls, minds, relationships, lives. That’s not good persistence.

Persistent prayer is different. Whether it’s the story of the friend or the story of the widow, the goal may originate with the self, but there are positive forces at play. In the case of the friend, hospitality is actually center stage. In the case of the widow, justice is at the center.

We often focus on the people in the stories, and not the greater “ethos” that the story surrounds.

Persistent prayer is not nagging prayer. Nagging God to get you a Rolls Royce would not be positive persistence. Persistent prayer for justice for our neighbors? Persistent prayer for their finances and spiritual health?

Often, we will dress up our persistent prayer in “Godly” language, such as, “give me wealth that I may be more generous.” This can be positive. It is often quite negative, as the person is operating from a scarcity mindset, rather than generosity mindset

Other times it could be, “Lord, let them get a speeding ticket.” The justice might be correct; the heart motivation might well be revenge or desire for their punishment.

Persistent prayer may involve the self. Jesus even tells us that we are to bring our cares and needs to the Father.

※Questions※

1) How would you define the difference between stubbornness, nagging, and persistence? How do you know when you are being one or the other?

2) What are some signs or language that you can use to determine the intent behind our prayer (i.e., justice versus vengeance)?

3) If God is faithful in answering prayer, why do we not always get what we want?

※Prayer※

Lord, may our prayers be full of your life-giving water rather than torrential waters of destruction; to lift up your people and the world to you. Amen.

*Just for clarity, the fool part is my stubbornness regarding my major pursuit. Without that second college, I wouldn’t have found my wife; so, that part is a win. I did eventually go back to college and complete a degree. It just took a bit longer.

2020-11-01
Chained or Unchained

Deuteronomy 27:12–28:1; John 8:31–40; Galatians 3:7–14

There are many wonderful things in life that begin well and then become dead weight. Buying a house is one of those. We are now in an era when people buy houses and pay against a large debt for 15–30 years. It doesn’t take too long for the joy of home “owning” to be faced with the frustrations of maintenance, flaws, age, vision changes, life changes, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a house. It could be a car. It could be student loans. It could be your job.

The Law wasn’t intended to be life-giving. It was intended as God-oriented living protection. If you followed the law, there was a framework that guided one into a righteous life.

Somehow this became twisted, and the Law became life.

“Whoever does not put this law into practice is cursed.” (Deuteronomy 27:26)

This does not say that the Law is life. It says that not following the Law results in bad consequences. Within the Law there were “resets” built in. Sins, errors in judgment could be dealt with. Life could move on.

However, there is a difference when it is a lifestyle. This is not about ignorance. This is not about an unbeliever. This is about those who declare God their God and live in such a way that they have not put God first in their lives.

What becomes the struggle is “proving” that God is first in our lives. Often, we “prove” it by living a more “holy” life. The Church of the Nazarene, for example, was long known for its stances against alcohol, smoking, and dancing. Not doing these things was the mark of “holiness” but is what the areas of broken relationships where these things occurred that was the real issue.

When holiness (or the appearance thereof) become chains rather than freedom, then holiness has become the Law. If that is the case, then that might make a lie out of, “who the Son sets free is free indeed,” because then, it seems, we want to find new chains to live in.

※Questions※

1) What are some Christian “rules” that you can think of? How do you think they became rules?

2) What rules can you think of that were intended to “give” or “preserve” life, but ended up chaining it? Does that make the rule bad?

3) What is a family rule that you wish wasn’t a family rule? Why?

※Prayer※

Jesus, you called us to a life of following you. Help up discern freedom from chains as we try to follow your way. Amen.

2020-10-08
My Rules Not Yours

Mark 10:1–9; Luke 1:69–75; Galatians 3:1–5

The rule of having to wear masks when going out into public (with some exceptions in the US and elsewhere) is grating. Really. Who wants to wear a mask all day? No one wants to.

Many are concerned that we are being conditioned to wear masks and have our freedoms curtailed. That concern is reasonable, up to a point. What’s particularly interesting is the social experiment regarding rules.

The political “right” is generally a law and order type of people. Yet, that group is resisting the mask rule. The political “left” is (theoretically) more of a “no rules” yet practices many rigid rules.

This is not to pick on either, but to show that even in our “crystal clear” political bents, we are often not clear ourselves. Yet, one of the core pieces of Christian theology, especially Protestant theology, is freedom from the Law.

Of course, someone will often respond that the Law is different than rules. Yes, the Law is a series of religious rules that defined appropriate behavior and a penalty for when that behavior was violated.

The “trick” became that the people treated the Law as if it were the relationship that mattered, rather than their relationship to God. That is also a simplification of it. Another way to say may be, they focused on the rules so much that they neglected the relationship.

Jesus gets the rules of divorce question. Is that really the question, though? Is the question more along the lines of, “what can I do that I think makes me happy while still getting to Heaven?” The question of divorce is a question of relationship on one hand and what can be gotten away with. The way Pharisees brought this to Jesus was about the law. It wasn’t about a man looking for a younger wife or a prettier one, or even one the nagged him less. It was about using the Law to break relationship.

When anyone becomes more concerned about the rules (whether to follow them or disobey them) than the relationships that the rules are about, we lose sight of people. Zechariah’s praise (from Luke 1) is all about the relationship. Zechariah would have been one of those concerned about the rules (he was a priest). The relationship with God and God with God’s people mattered more.

The other side of the rules, and a significant focus of the Protestant reformation, was the thought that one could earn their way into Heaven by following rules, rituals, or purchasing one’s way in. The last of these 3 is not Paul’s concern in his letter to the Galatians. What concerned him was that the Galatians seemed to have tossed out grace and relationship and embraced rules.

This is not to say rules are not important. They provide guidance and boundaries, which we seem to need to thrive. Yet, if we adhere to the rules (or oppose the rules) without understanding the why and the who that the rules are about we skip the people that we are called to love.

※Questions※

1) Thinking of relationships regarding authority, how do rules and relationships work with and against each other?

2) What rules that bother you? Why? What relationships might those rules impact?

※Prayer※

Jesus, you came to earth to show us the Way of Life. Help us to find both the freedom and constraints of following you. Amen.

2020-10-07
Can You Relate?

1 Corinthians 3:5–9; Philippians 1:12–21

“It can never happen here.”

“No one respects God here.”

“How could God move in this [horrible] place?”

You can probably think of a number of questions or statements that give an excuse or justification for why you can’t be a missionary where you are. Let’s not devalue those statements. Let’s identify them for what they are…barriers to the Gospel.

Missionaries have gone to foreign countries for generations. The Church of the Nazarene [the “umbrella” denomination for this devotional] has missionaries in “Creative Access” areas. The denomination does not publicly identify them. When they go home, they are not recorded or associated with their missional area. For many of them, martyrdom (killed because of faithfully living the faith) is a real possibility.

In comparison, our hard to reach areas are not so hard.

Paul wrote the letter to the church(es) in Philippi from jail. Through a confluence of circumstances, he was able to share about Jesus, both directly and indirectly. One could think that jail could be a pretty hard place.

Yet, the Gospel is growing (yes, growing) in the prisons even today. Through methods such as Discovery Bible Study, cell groups (pun intended) are growing in the prisons. Some of the hardest prisons where the further separate inmates into pods are establishing groups.

Did Paul start immediately preaching the Gospel to the guards? Probably not. He developed relationships with them over time. Then as the Holy Spirit guided, he shared.

Where you are may be a place where you are called to only plant seeds. Perhaps you are in a place where you are called to water the seeds that others planted. It might even be possible for you to be in a place where you plant and water. Depending on the people, each person may be in a different place.

Relational Evangelism is the new buzz-phrase. It shouldn’t be. This is the most effective way, at this point in history, to reach people for Jesus and deepen their (and our) relationship with Jesus. Even 20 years ago, the most successful churches with the deepest discipleship were built on relationships.

※Questions※

1) What relationship is the hardest for you at the moment? How could/might the Holy Spirit use that to bring Jesus into the picture?

2) What kind of seeds are you planting right now? In whom are you planting them? What are some ways to plant seeds?

3) What seeds/plants are you watering right now? How are you watering them? What are some ways to water the seeds of faith?

4) How’s the weeding going? Are you having to pull some weeds in your or others’ lives? How might weeding work (or not) in the newly planted and/or watered relationships?

※Prayer※

Father, from the beginning you have used the picture of planting and watering to convey deep truths to your Creation. Please guide us into how planting, watering, and weeding needs to be lived out in our lives. Amen.

A quick summary and methodology outline for the Discovery Bible Study can be downloaded here, or you can go to the Discovery Bible Study site (not all views are necessarily the views of this site.)

2020-10-06
See and Be Seen

Genesis 16:7–14; John 1:47–51

Have you ever been to a big event? Maybe a concert? Maybe a sports game? And then you spend anywhere from 2 to 4 hours with thousands of your closest friends.

Most of those people really aren’t your friends. Unless you are ticket holder buddies, you are unlikely to see them again.

The reality is that a church service, even when small, can often feel the same way. You gather with other like-minded (at least somewhat religiously) individuals. You sit, stand, sing, pray, sit, listen, leave.

You may not feel that way. You may feel like your church is your family. If so, that’s great! It is also as it should be.

However, there are those that don’t feel that way. They can feel separated, ignored, unknown. They can feel unseen.

Hagar was cast out. She and her son were no longer welcome in the place she called home. She and Ishmael were now in life-threatening danger. In that day and age, being alone in the wilderness does not bode well for a woman and a boy.

There are a lot of people inside and out of the “the body of Christ” that are in a place of being alone. Human survival is far more than food, shelter, and clothing. We need to be known. We need to be seen. We need to be heard.

Hagar’s story is stronger than the simple story of Nathanael. Yet, Nathanael’s heart was open to Jesus because Jesus saw him. Yes, Jesus saw him from far away. Jesus, though, identified Nathanael’s character, as well. There is more than just sight. There is knowledge of the person.

Developing those relations is important for human thriving. It is also important for the spiritual growth of the individual and the body of Christ.

We all have spiritual growth of some sort. However, what sort matters greatly. If your growth is alone, then you can be sharp, but you can also be blunt. Without others to stand beside you, and sometimes in front of you, your growth may be that of a monster not of a believer.

Only in faithful fellowship are we kept on the narrow path. Only in faithful fellowship can we really be seen by others. Only in faithful fellowship can do more than just survive.

※Questions※

1) Who are you actively walking with to disciple and be discipled by? If no one, who could you see being discipling partners with?

2) Why do you think so many people do not have healthy discipling relationships?

3) What will you do to champion healthy discipling in your church?

※Prayer※

Jesus, thank you for your example of walking for years with people as broken as me. Help me see that I still need healing just like others. Help me be your light to others and help me accept your light from others. Amen.

2020-09-28