Tag: relationships

Instigation

Jeremiah 15:10–14; Matthew 10:16–23; Matthew 12:46–50

Christmas is coming! All I want for Christmas is for 2020 to be over. How about you?

2020 may be the year of division. There is no question that the country is divided. While 2016 was certainly divisive, it is almost nothing to today. As much as many may blame the president, a political party other than theirs, any politician, the media, and whomever else they want to…the divisions all our rooted in our sin.

In many respects, this may be a blessing in disguise. For too many years, any form of conflict or disagreement has been shoved into the dark corners. It wasn’t that long ago that “safe places” were a thing. The beauty of these days is the reality that there is no “safe space” where we won’t hear something that conflicts with our beliefs.

How we disagree, however, is certainly an issue. Many church folks are no longer conversing on issues. They just attack and/or shut down. We have lost the ability to argue well and with love.

The church is in the middle of a very painful transformation. This isn’t just the incorporation of digital into its heart (rather than as a side project), it is the racial, political, health (COVID), and economic strain that is occurring throughout the world. These concerns are forcing the church to confront itself with the many things it has done and hasn’t done.

At this point in the church’s circle are prophetic voices of varying kinds. Many are not appreciated or even listened to (just like the Old Testament prophets).

Jeremiah was given a message by God. He mourns his birth as the people scorn and hate him even though he did nothing against them. He only spoke God’s words.

Jeremiah certainly was not popular. He was rightly regarded as a prophet. It was just that the words didn’t fit their desires.

This really hasn’t changed. Jesus’ warning to his disciples was straight forward. They weren’t going to be liked. Their choice to follow Jesus may cause them to lose family and friends.

Families divided because someone follows Jesus. What happens when families and other relationships are divided because they have different understandings of what it means to follow Jesus? That’s the question for this age.

It used to be one or two issues that divided the church. Now, there are many. Perhaps it is the language we use when we disagree. Perhaps our language is too rigid. Perhaps our hearts are too hard.

Jesus formed a new family that transcended the earthly bonds. In Jesus’ day, it was the blood of the family. After his resurrection, it was the division that separated Jew from Gentile. Today it is politics, race, abortion, the military, the appropriate place of patriotism, protest, COVID, healthcare, the environment, and so many other issues.

“For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” The will of the Father? Love the Lord your God with all your body, soul, mind, and strength; love your neighbor as yourself.

※Prayer※

Heavenly Father, help us do your will that we would be fully functioning members of your family. Amen.

1) How are you doing talking to others on issues with which you disagree? Do you filter your values through the will of the Father?

2) What forms do prophetic voices take today? Is there any particular form you would automatically ignore?

3) What are the current issues that prophetic voices are discussion that make you uncomfortable? Why does that make you uncomfortable?

2020-08-28
Indulge Me

Matthew 23:23–36

Narcissus was a hunter in Greek mythology. He was the most beautiful person. He was so dissatisfied with those who claimed they loved him that he expected them to kill themselves to prove their love of him. It wasn’t until he passed a smooth pool of water and saw his own reflection that he fell in love. Ultimately, he was so in love with his own reflection that he didn’t leave the pool and died.

The term narcissism obviously comes from this story. Narcissism is a personality disorder (according to the “official” diagnosis) where a person has an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.

Only troubled relationships cannot be (fully) concluded from our understanding of the scribes, Sadducees, and Pharisees. As we look at the list of issues that are symptomatic of narcissism, we can see echoes of them in these verses. Yet, while it really would be hard to accuse them of having traits to the depth necessary to be narcissistic, they definitely had issues.

We all have issues. Any of these should be an issue for a Christian as they are not in line with a Christian walk. One of the other issues that isn’t covered under the list of narcissism is self-indulgence. This may be the razor’s edge of many decisions.

Self-indulgence can take many forms. Currently, though, it seems to take more the form of self-righteousness. Of course, it really is hard to define self-righteousness, as we are all self-righteous to a degree.

How does one then evaluate an action through the lens of self-righteousness? One must look outside oneself. What is the litmus test being used?

That should be the question we ask ourselves as we move through these troubled times.

※Prayer※

Lord Jesus, help us to look to you to define and guide our actions that we bring honor and glory to you. Amen.

※Questions※

1) What is the litmus test for what makes an action or thought self-righteous or not? How about self-indulgence?

2) What might be the best way to work through self-righteous and self-indulgent actions and thoughts with fellow Christians?

2020-08-24
Want

Exodus 20:1–21; 1 Kings 3:16–28; 1 Corinthians 13:1–13

The tale of envy and spite in the story relayed in 1 Kings is abominable to most of us. How could any person ever do that, even if it is not their child?

Yet, there are far too many tragic stories of people treating their children—their legacy—with something beyond contempt. The children don’t meet a “need”, or even worse, the death of the child meets the “need”.

The amazing depravity of humanity is often overwhelming.

In the story in 1 Kings, there is probably much more than the visible story. Why it was significant to the writer that the women were prostitutes was significant is a matter of conjecture. With something like that we can only guess what else might have been going on.

One possibility is that the “wise men” didn’t want to deal with the “dirty” prostitutes on a case with no evidence or witnesses (like those who might have been present at the birth or circumcision). So, they handed it off to the new king to test him. This would be well within the norm even today when new figures come into power, they are tested by ally and enemy alike.

To our ears, Solomon’s solution is over the top. Kill the child? However, some commentators believe that Solomon had discerned who the real mother was and was looking for a justifiable pretext of giving her son to her.

The story also shines a light on one of the big human issues: envy. There is a reason that this was on the list of Commandments. It can often be one of the most destructive emotions in human relationships.

Envy drove a grieving woman to grasp for another’s baby and then be open to the child’s death instead of “losing”. Envy drove a person to sacrifice a child to hurt another person.

Envy drives people to do things that are often not rational. Sometimes people will put themselves into so much debt so that they can be just like others. Other times they will hurt themselves, as long as they can hurt others.

No one is immune to the pull of envy. We often think envy is only for big things, but envy is even more dangerous regarding small things. It is easy to excuse or justify the envy of little things. However, once we succumb, envy gains momentum, and our hearts turn toward darkness, and away from love.

—prayer—

Holy Spirit, guard our hearts against envy. If the shadow of envy had taken hold, we ask for your saving work to preserve your love in our hearts. Amen.

—questions—

1) What is the first “don’t” of love, according to Paul? Why do you think Paul mentioned that first?

2) What was the strongest feeling of envy you’ve ever had? What happened?

3) What is the “flip” side of envy? Or, how is one driven to envy? (hint: see Paul’s list)

2020-07-27
Following Further

Acts 18:24–19:5; 1 Corinthians 3:5–15; 1 Corinthians 3:18–23 (read online ⧉)

Continuing from yesterday, Peter and Paul were, and remain, worthy examples to follow. In particular, it is their faithful following of Jesus Christ and their wrestling with the faith for themselves and others.

Not too long into things, however, already following fell into camps. Peter and Paul were the “original” camps and later, that of Apollos. The separation of camps was certainly not the intent of Peter, Paul, or Apollos.

The primary concern of the Corinthians was Paul and Apollos. Paul did note that Peter (Cephas) was tied into this as well. One can imagine that the 3 camps were broken into apparently ideological categories: old/Apostolic guard (Peter), Jewish guard (Apollos), Gentile/revolutionary guard (Paul).

Was this really the case for these 3 men? Neither the Scriptures nor Church histories provide any evidence of it. This was something that likely started with relationships and attraction.

We see this today, as people will follow a particular pastor. If that pastor moves on, so do they. We also often seen this camp development as a precursor to church family splits.

People will settle into camps over many issues: political party, environment, race, taxation, “freedoms”, immigration, world events, and so on. People will often find and focus on more that divides, rather than unites.

In this environment of being divided and then further subdivided, and then divided again, followers of Jesus should buck the trend and figure out how to unite. Currently, we are on the same path as the rest of the world in that regard and that does not.

We also know from the Scriptures and Church history that the early leaders did not all agree on everything at all times. Yet, their paramount allegiance was to Jesus Christ.

One could dismiss their agreement on the reality that they were oppressed or at least strongly opposed. If that’s the case, perhaps instead of greater freedom, we should pray for further difficulty (dark humor).

It wasn’t easy to stay unified. It also isn’t as if they were unified on everything. They were being unified over Jesus, which is all we can really ask of one another. That isn’t happening today.

As we always look for and at those who are one step ahead of us, we must still keep our eyes upon Jesus. The person we follow may turn away, and if we blindly follow, we too will walk away from Jesus. Keeping our eyes upon Jesus will help keep us going toward him, and not away.

※Prayer※

Jesus, while we look at others to help us in our Christian walk, help us to keep our eyes on you. Amen.

※Questions※

1) Which people are you watching or following right now? How do they lead you to Jesus?

2) Is Jesus (not “being Christian”) your lens when looking at and listening to others?

3) How do you converse generously in love, grace, and mercy with others whose understanding of following Jesus is different than yours?

2020-06-30
A Little Prophesying

Deuteronomy 13:1–5; Deuteronomy 18:20–22; Jeremiah 28:1–9

Doomsday prophets are certainly a thing. There are a lot of them, and of varying kinds: epidemiologist (disease), environment, morality, political, sexuality, education, freedom, financial, and so on and on.

Doom sells. Doomsayers may also be helpful to guide us toward some sort of preparation or change. At this point, however, there are so many doomsayers that there are only two logical conclusions: we’re doomed or they’re wrong. That is really the two paths regardless of which or all the “dooms”.

What is interesting about “prophesying” in the Scriptures is that not all prophesying is alike. Some prophesying is more akin to teaching, lecturing, discipling. That generally would fall under church categories as preaching, pastoring, and life groups.

Other prophesying is more like visions, dreams, and euphoric states. This is what we, as a tradition (versus language), understand as foretelling or forewarning that is spiritually driven, and is our default interpretation when reading the word in the Scriptures.

The struggle is discerning whether the prophecy or “prophetic word” is from God, from other spiritual forces, or is it of self appearing to be “spiritual”. Especially (but not exclusively) with the internet, there are plenty of videos, blog posts, web sites all claiming some sort of divine connection.

Sadly, there is no way to tag “fake prophesy”. That takes wisdom, discernment, and positive Christian relationships.

※Prayer※

Holy Spirit, strengthen your discerning gift in us. Father God, help us to look through your word so that we can see when someone is using your word falsely. Jesus, help us to keep in mind that you told us that there would be many false prophets before your return. Amen.

※Questions※

1) Have you had someone deliver a prophecy or “prophetic word” to/about you? How about as part of a public declaration (with or without you being the focus)?

2) What are you actively doing to protect yourself from false prophesy or “prophetic word”?

2020-06-28
La, La, La, I Can’t Hear You

Jeremiah 26:1–15; Romans 5:1–10 (read online ⧉)

The news is filled with doom. Doom, doom, doom. Many of our movies and entertainment are filled with doom. In the middle of doom, hope is a breath of fresh air.

On the other hand, some times a message of doom in a time of despair isn’t doom upon doom, but a message of God. Granted, the message of God may not seem all that positive. If one is set in their ways, even a message of hope can seem like a message of doom.

That’s exactly what happens, too. The priests, the (false) prophets, and the people heard the words of Jeremiah. They were very unhappy. “We’re fine.” “The [false] prophets say we’re good.” “The [false] prophets say that God will only bless us.” “God wouldn’t really do that to us. We’re the People of God.”

Who knows what else they said? We might have a pretty good idea if we were to examine ourselves and the wider Christian community, however. This isn’t about LGBT+. This isn’t about politics. This isn’t even about racial issues. Yes, each of these is a part. None are the whole.

Perhaps God is allowing COVID-19 to show what is truly important…a deep and meaningful relationship with God. That same relationship in turn would create deep and meaningful relationships with others.

Yet, there are those who still call this God’s curse as a result of sinful behaviors, though as this is global, it is unlikely (based on Biblical examples). Others look at this as a huge cultural shift that will transform human behaviors and relations for some time to come. They are probably correct. Others are looking at this as a troubling time, but insist on trying to return to pre-COVID-19 ways either too early, or without weighing all the consequences.

COVID-19 does show a very human tendency. “Hurry up!” God’s timing is not our timing. Yet, in the COVID-19 season, humanity cannot stop being short-sighted. This echoes the people of Israel spoken to by Jeremiah.

On the other side of COVID-19 (if there is an “other” side), we might look at Paul’s words to the Romans and give God the glory that God has given us afflictions. Then we might see that we can, did, and will endure to the future. Producing [Godly] character in this time might be the biggest gift we receive (though there is misery in the training) at this time.

All of this should be producing an outpouring of hope, according to Paul. Christians are called to be the voice of hope in all things, though especially in hard and uncertain times.

※Prayer※

Hope giving God, fill us with hope. With this hope, may we fill the world in turn with the hope it so desperately needs. May we set aside our desires and wants to be the hope. Amen.

※Questions※

1) How’s your hope? Is your hope (or lack thereof) contagious?

2) What is the primary tone of the conversation that you are seeing in your social media (e.g., Facebook)? What are you doing to bring hope into that?

3) What place does hope hold in your life? What purpose does hope hold in your life?

2020-06-23
Forward

Job 1:1–5; 2 Corinthians 1:8–14 (read online ⧉)

The story of Job is a famous story. It seems to be a story of a man going through unjust trials and misery. Job is often used in times of trial as a sort of encouragement, as if to say, if it could happen to Job, it can happen to you.

Job, depending on translation, was a person of complete integrity or blameless and upright. Either one is hard for us to measure up to. How many of us, truly, would think of ourselves as being of complete integrity?

During an interview, the question was asked of the interviewee, “are you honest?” The interviewee said, “yes.” The interviewer then asked, “have you ever lied or stolen?” The interviewee answered, “yes.” The interviewer then asked, “are you honest?” The interviewee again answered, “yes.”

The test was not whether the person was honest, per se. Rather, it was if they had the integrity to answer the “ever lied or stolen” question with a “yes.” If they had answered, “no” to that question, the interview would have been over, for no one (other than Jesus, and perhaps Job) was that good of a person.

When we read the story of Job, the story isn’t about Job’s “greatness” or “righteousness”. The story is about Job’s faithfulness to God. Despite all his troubles, he never gave up on God, even when his wife told him to.

While God is always faithful, we often are not. It is our faithfulness, though, that intimately affects our individual life. When Paul and Timothy were going through a period of affliction, Paul noted that they received comfort from God. Note the language that Paul used; overwhelmed beyond their own strength. By whose strength, then, could they succeed? God’s, of course.

Paul’s faithfulness to God was rewarded with the strength to carry on. Except, reward is not exactly correct. We all have this exact strength available to us, too. Through our trials and tribulations, through COVID-19 and riots, we have the strength to persevere.

However, many Christians do not believe they have that power. That is the work of the adversary. The adversary isn’t necessarily the Devil either. The world, in this instance, can be the adversary, too. As the world (all of Creation) languishes in the results of broken relationship (sin), it cannot understand how to overcome. It is lost in despair.

Christians often succumb to that despair. Instead of faithfulness to God, they attribute to themselves (and often to God) the faithlessness of broken relationships.

※Prayer※

As a mother bird gathers her young in her wings, so you do for us, oh, God. May we trust the warmth and love of your wings, as they gather us together, and help us to trust that you are for us. Amen.

※Questions※

1) What are symptoms of despair that you see in the world? How about yourself?

2) What are ways that we can help others strengthen their hearts against despair?

3) How does despair affect things like hatred, discord, and the like?

2020-06-03
Barrier Breaker

Luke 16:19–31; Acts 16:1–5; 1 Corinthians 9:16–23 (read online ⧉)

One of the more interesting things that is occurring in this event called COVID-19 and its physical distancing are the conversations that are going along with it. There are plenty of political and health conversations (neither necessarily with all the facts or research, and this comes from all corners). There are economic conversations. There are logistical conversations. There are, amazingly, religious conversations.

For some of us, we are watching religious conversations regarding topics that some people had been thinking about (for example, communion online) for a time, to an immediate need. There are those that were dismissive (at best) of having any sort of community online (and dismissing those who had it as shallow) who now are doing their best to understand what it means to actually do it.

Then, there are those who need to be theologically “correct” who have decided to do nothing. Taking a prophet’s words out of context, they kicked their sheep out to the wolves because they couldn’t feed them the “right” grass. Yes, that is more than a bit snarky.

However, this a different form of the conversation Jesus continually had and that Paul was having.

In Jesus’ story of the beggar Lazarus (not to be confused with the Lazarus who was brought back to life), Abraham points out to the rich man that the prophets and the laws were already there. He and his brothers either didn’t see them, ignored them (either of these two would fit in the context of Jesus’ story), or believe that they were rich thus they were righteous (a common belief then and now).

How does this apply? Well, the so-called righteous living was not be lived through the filter of the Law or the prophets. In other words, they confused results, riches, and power with being followers of God.

Paul, on the other hand, knew that he was dealing with the “blind”. He did an odd thing. He circumcised Timothy. As this was all part of the context of delivering the message from the Apostles about what Gentiles needed to do to be “right”, we understand that Paul did not impose this upon Timothy because Timothy needed it to be done to be righteous. Paul did it so that there would be one less barrier between Timothy (and Paul) and the Jews.

Paul’s mission was to share the Gospel. He understood that there would be barriers (mental, emotional, logical, theological) between him and others. He would do his best (without violating the Way of Jesus) to identify with them enough to remove barriers and build relationships.

Often, even usually, people want others to remove their barriers. However, the love of Jesus Christ should be goading us to remove our barriers so that the message of the Gospel is receivable by others. Whether it is online, in person, through music, through television, or some other medium we need to remove our barriers.

It is not their responsibility to move closer to us. It is our responsibility to move closer to them. How do we know this? God came down as a baby. The infinite became the finite. We could not remove the barriers between ourselves and God. Only God could.

※ Prayer ※
God, help us to set aside our ways for your ways. Help us set aside our desires for your desires. Help us to reach people with the Gospel who neither know nor believe they need it. Amen.

※ Questions ※
1) What is one thing that keeps you from “agreeing” or “getting along” with people from another political party? Why does that one thing matter to you? Why might that one thing matter to them differently?
2) One of Jesus’ lessons is that our religiosity can inhibit others from having a relationship with God. What might one religious thing of yours might that be?
3) Why is it so important to understand that we have the responsibility to approach others? What might that mean for our daily lives?

2020-05-16
Wholesome Speech

Leviticus 19:11–18; 2 Corinthians 12:19–21; 1 Peter 2:1–5 (read online ⧉)

Slander is one of the biggest things that divide people whether it be in families, churches, the internet, the world. Slander can be small things, it can be large things. The reality is that it often hurts the innocent and the guilty the same. Slander and gossip can be very destructive. However, while we often focus on the person who is being slandered or gossiped about, we often miss the larger picture.

Let’s take any leader. If you heard them slandering or gossiping about someone else, it should make you pause. If they are willing to say that about a person who isn’t present, what are they saying about you when you are not present? Slander and gossip can undermine leadership, discipleship, relationship, and most of all love.

This does not mean that we cannot vent or share our struggles or feelings regarding another person. That can be bad, too. What we share about others needs to be considered carefully. Often we don’t carefully and prayerfully consider what we say about others. It is when we react with our responses that the greatest damage can occur. In our anger or pain, we often attribute characteristics to others that are more a reflection of our feelings than the other person.

In fact, there is no simple way to do any of this. Human relationships are often a struggle. While we struggle to relate to one another, we are hurt by one another, and hurt one another. Some of the pains we experience and have yet to identify or process will come out in ways we do not understand or anticipate. Celebrate Recovery (a 12-step Christian recovery program) has a great and very useful saying for when we deal with other people:

“Hurt people, hurt people.”

It is simple. If we think about it, though, we can see the truth in it. Humankind has fallen from God’s intent. Out of our sin, and as a consequence of the sins of others, we hurt that which bears God’s image…each other.

Prayer

Father God, you show such grace, mercy, and patience with us your wayward children. Thank you for the gift of Jesus, giving us a way to overcome our frailties that does not depend on us. Holy Spirit, sharpen and heal us into a Christlike image that seeks to restore and heal others and ourselves. Amen.

Questions

1) Can you think of a time when you believe someone slandered you or gossiped about you? What was that like?

2) What is wholesome speech? What should the characteristics of wholesome speech be? What should the end results of wholesome speech be?

3) How do you heal relationships torn apart by gossip or slander?

2020-04-28
You, The World, God

Exodus 20:1–17; John 2:13–22; 1 Corinthians 1:18–25; Psalm 19 (read online ⧉)

The 10 Commandments in Exodus. The temple cleaned out with whips. The foolishness of the Cross versus signs and wisdom. All 3 passages are passionate reminders of who God is, and each tells so in different ways.

Exodus establishes the foundations of the God-Israel relationship (and speaks to ours, as well). The Gospel of John tells of the cleansing of the temple, removing man-made obstacles and the exposing duping of the faithful. Paul’s letter to the Corinthians encourages them that they cannot base faith on mere Greek “wisdom” and the Jewish desire for signs.

God sets some ground rules for righteous and loving interacting relationship with God and man. Jesus summarizes it this way, “…‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.” [Matthew 22:36-40]

Through the cleansing of the Temple, Jesus cleared his Father’s house of that which distracted from worshiping God, and that which prevent right worship. Jesus made a point that his Father’s house has one purpose, worshiping God. He also called the leaders and merchants out on their corruption of a sacrificial law that was intended to bring people to God, while reminding them that they needed a bridge (blood) to cover their wrongs.

Paul let Christians know that the world would never view them the same as it used to. Their interactions with the world would be strained, as they were considered fools by their beliefs. This church of Jew and Gentile was confronted by the Jew and Gentile outside faith in Jesus, and how they no longer quite fit into the world they left behind.

Much of our journey in faith can be summarized into these three areas: our relationship with God; our relationships with others in the faith; our relationships with those outside the faith. We can even look at Jesus’ life with these three facets, seeing the ebb and flow.

At the beginning of our walk, we usually try to balance these three facets, but unlike a triangle or tripod, the three facets are not really able to be balanced. We tend to extremes in them all, bouncing from one to another. Many people have found that the best expression is the three concentric circles, starting with a small circle, which is circled by a larger one, which is circled by even a larger one.

Of course, the question is what is the order of the circles?

1) Going from inner to middle to outer ring, what are the advantages and disadvantages of each perspective?

a. God / Others in the Faith / Others in the World

b. Others in the World / Others in the Faith / God

2) Which one are you?

2020-03-15