Tag: relationships

  • Three Essentials

    John 16:12–15, 1 Peter 1:1–12

    The Trinity has long been a struggle. As the church began to mature, there were many struggles, discussions, and arguments over what exactly they believed. Out of those many discussions, creeds were formed seeking to unify the church in understanding. Many have tried (and continue to try) to dismiss creeds as “The Victor’s spoils,” meaning that because the creeds were what “won”, they are invalid. The argument being that there wasn’t a consensus, and those that did not agree were tossed out of the church, argue that the creeds were then just a source of power, control, and bullying. The reality is that the creeds defining the Trinity are essential to understanding who Jesus is.

    Jesus himself makes clear that there is definite relationship between Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Jesus conveys unified ownership (What is the Father’s is mine; what is mine is the Holy Spirit’s.). There is also the often ignored, but almost essential statement, “…you can’t bear them now.” The Greek implies an inability (i.e., immaturity) to be able to understand what Jesus means.

    Peter’s triune greeting shows us that while there is not an explicit understanding of the relationship of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, there is an understanding that the relationship is essential to the church and the faith. Why is this important? Why does it matter? As we move in the world, an incomplete understanding can be an issue, and can often lead to doubt or attack. While the Trinity is beyond the scope of a devotional, knowing what you believe, and why you believe it, gives you the firm foundation to walk as a Christian.

    1) When we read Jesus’ words in the light of our relationships, there is a strong mutuality of ownership. How do you see mutuality in your relationships with others? Do you see it in your church relationship?

    2) When it comes to hard-to-understand things in life and faith, how do you approach things?

    3) Peter’s words end with service. How are you serving others in the faith, whether younger or older?

  • Hearing Truth

    Psalm 25, Jeremiah 7:21–34, John 16:7–15, Ephesians 4:15–16

    The wounds of a friend are trustworthy,
    but the kisses of an enemy are excessive.
    Proverbs 27:6

    Truth can be a painful thing. If delivered in the context of true friendship, the pain of the truth is shared by both. One of the hardest things to do is to be honest with truth, and to be humble and trusting to accept it.
    Jeremiah delivered God’s message to the Israelites. It was Truth. In their pride and arrogance, they disregarded it. Instead of properly viewing Jeremiah as God’s prophet—the messenger of God’s seeking of their redemption—they viewed him as an irritant, and someone not to be listened to. Of course, they really chose to not listen to God. It’s not as if God hadn’t already tried. It wasn’t as if God hadn’t already set the expectations. It is not as if God didn’t, even now, continue to try convincing them to return. Raise a sad song of mourning (a dirge). God wasn’t happy. God was mourning. The Truth delivered caused at least as much pain to God, as to God’s people.

    We have been called to Truth. We have to unwind ourselves from the lies, however, and the number of lies are overwhelming. Perhaps we shouldn’t call them lies. Many are truth and facts. However, throwing truths and facts out in an attempt to bury the Truth, makes them all lies. While Christianity feels as if it is against the world (and it is to some degree), the world instinctively understands that it opposes the Truth. As the Holy Spirit fills all of Creation, one cannot help but wonder if the struggles of the world are not sin, per se, but that the Holy Spirit has been very successful in convicting hearts.

    We are called to speak Truth, not just truth. We are to use love to convey Truth. The concept of God as gentleman fits here. God isn’t beating on them to change their ways. The Holy Spirit is alive in them quickening their hearts to the truth, but as humans often do, when confronted by a look in the mirror, they break the mirror, hide the mirror, cover the mirror, anything but look into the mirror. One of the hardest parts about framily is the Truth. We need to be in the kind of relationships where truth can be shared in love, and accepted in humility. Sadly, far too many of our relationships—parental, child, sibling, spouse, friend—do not allow for that kind of truth.

    1) What are some reasons, you think, that sharing truth is so hard?

    2) What are some reasons—other than pride—why people don’t want to hear or hurt when hearing truth? What are God-related reasons? What are human-related reasons?

    3) When sharing what we think is the truth, why is it so important to use Ephesians 4:15 as a litmus test for your words?

  • Journey and Direction

    1 Kings 8:41–53, Ruth 1:7–17, Luke 9:57–10:16

    Where are you going?

    It’s a pretty basic question until we apply it to our lives. It wasn’t long ago, the question was followed with, “…to Heaven or Hell.” However, where are you going isn’t just about the destination, it is also about the journey. In fact, who we meet and how we live on the journey are what makes (or breaks) the Very Good Life.

    Solomon’s Temple Inaugural prayer talks about the Very Good Live in general terms and one specific one. The general terms are those that are normal to everyday people. The specific term is focusing on God. The prayer basically revolves around people turning from God (and/or sinning), and people turning to God. Regardless of direction, God is the center.

    When Ruth makes this massive commitment to Naomi, we miss all that she gives up in her attempt to be faithful to her family (which now only consists of her mother-in-law). She also willingly surrenders her entire belief structure (and blood family and culture) to God. She turned toward God.

    There were many people who followed Jesus. Many of them were unwilling to make a full commitment. Jesus’ rebuke to 3 of them sounds harsh (it is). However, each of us has that same daily decision to make…Jesus, or not. Jesus sent 72 committed disciples out. He did not send them alone. He sent them in pairs. An example of taking the journey with others, for we can never truly walk this journey alone. We aren’t meant to.
    The disciples weren’t directed to make converts, they were sent to build relationships. Staying as a guest in someone’s house for the duration of their time in a village meant they had to get along with their hosts. It also meant they could build relationships—build the Kingdom—at a more natural pace, and not the “gospel” that was presented (e.g., “Heaven or Hell”) years ago. If the towns were hospitable, stay. Otherwise, leave. Do your best to be at peace with others, insofar as it depends on you.

    1) Where has your faith journey taken you? Have you been so focused on the destination that you didn’t experience the journey?

    2) How do you know where you are going, and how do you know when to change direction?

    3) How does Solomon’s prayer tie into the task that the disciples were given?

  • Relating Love

    Matthew 5:17-20, Matthew 22:34–40, John 13:31-35

    It is not a minor thing for Jesus to affirm the Law and the Prophets. It is an essential fact to understand. Jesus in no way denied being a Jew, nor did he say being a Jew is bad. Over the course of history, it was bad theology that led people to think that Jews were worse than others. They weren’t, and aren’t.

    In fact, if we do not recognize the Jewishness of Jesus, we deny him in many ways. For him to fulfill the prophecies of the Old Testament, he had to be Jewish. This is incredibly important to understand as the Old Testament is critically important to understand Jesus, salvation, God, and the New Testament.
    In many respects, the Law and the Prophets never pass away, they become something far greater. Through their fulfillment, we are able to go beyond their immediate and earthly meaning and find something far deeper and greater…the depths of God’s love.

    Love is supposed to be the motivator, whether it is our relationship with God, or with other people. When other emotions are a significant portion of our relationships, we should recognize that that is not God’s intent. Emotions such as fear, desire to control, hatred, animosity, sadness. These are not the emotions that are healthy for our relationships, especially if they are the primary emotion we feel.
    This is also the case in our relationship with God, yet many people (Jewish, Christian, Muslim) are taught that we are to fear God. Not the “He is God, the all-powerful, Creator-of-the-Universe” fear; the abject fear of someone who is afraid of another in such a way that loving is not possible.

    1) If a person’s primary relating emotion is not love, how would they understand Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross?

    2) Many people state and even believe that their primary motivation and behavior toward others is love. How does one validate or invalidate that?

    3) How do you move a person more toward love, and away from other emotions?

    4) What emotions (other than love) do you struggle with the most?

  • All To Be Reconciled

    Genesis 4:1–17, Ezekiel 33:10–20

    Cain is often portrayed as the human embodiment of evil. In popular media, he’s the ultimate bad guy. Which makes sense. Cain invented murder. Yet, Cain lived. Later, the rules would be set, he would be dead according to the penalties, but for this time and age, he lived. What about the “mark” of Cain? Some people have drawn from Revelation what that symbol could look like. It must have been pretty significant for it to be instantly recognized. We focus on a lot of that, but perhaps we ought to focus on something slightly different. God’s grace.

    Where is God’s grace in this? Cain’s protection. Cain being able to, in some way, move on with his life. Cain was able to have a family, and even began to be settled. This not the story of a man on the run, but the story of a man who did a horrible wrong, but was yet a recipient of God’s grace and protection.
    We don’t know the story behind the story. Was Cain’s relationship with God reconciled? The Bible doesn’t say. John, Jude, and the author of Hebrews don’t have much confidence in Cain’s rehabilitation, but nothing is impossible with God.

    The reason this matters is summed up in the words of Ezekiel. God doesn’t want anyone to not be reconciled. Bad men become righteous. Just like Adam and Eve, however, good can become bad because of a choice made. We forever are stuck with the consequences of the choices we have made. However, those choices do no prevent us from approaching God.

    1) What are some of the worst choices you ever made? How did they affect your relationships with others and your relationship with God?

    2) Do you think it is possible (regardless of likely) that God showed Cain grace? Why or why note?

    3) Thinking of Ezekiel’s words, what is the flip (or possibly negative) side of God’s grace?

  • Divine Encounters

    Psalm 63:1-8, Daniel 12:1-4, Revelation 2:1-7

    Often when we first come to know Jesus, our hearts are on fire. A colorful way of saying it is a “fire in the bones” or “fire in the belly”. In other words, we experience a change. For others, it is not a fire, but a germinating plant slowing breaking through the shell of the seed, then bursting forth from the ground. There are many ways to describe that change. There are probably as many as there are people. Those new in their relationship with Jesus will often seek more and more of Jesus. They will (like the psalmist) think of God as being more satisfying than rich food. They will think about God while just lying on their bed. In the middle of the night, they will think about God. Keeping that going, however, is always a task. Especially in times of trouble, trial, or just plain confusion.

    Daniel’s vision is not that literal, but it does convey truth. A new time of distress and discord will come. New nations will rise. God’s people, though, will still be on God’s heart. God will carry his people. However, even though they are “his” people, there will be a separation. What could be the separating point? Active relationship with God.

    As the Letter to Ephesus calls on the Ephesians to return to their “first love”, so, too, are we called. We are called to return to the ways of the psalmist, always thinking about God. Within the letter is yet another reminder that there will be a separation between those who have an active relationship with God, and those who don’t. Just like any relationship, a relationship with God does not just happen. We have to work to maintain it. It’s not that God “walks” away from us, but that we walk away from him.

    1) Do you recall your first encounter with Jesus? What was it like?

    2) Relationships change, as should ours with God. Our relationship with God should always be deepening. Give yourself a moment to reflect and be honest with yourself. Is your relationship with God deepening? If not, good news! Let’s start now! God is always waiting for you to have a deeper relationship with him. If you have a deepening relationship with God, what will you do to help others deepen their relationship with God?

    3) Daniel’s and John’s (Revelation) visions talk about a separation between those who have an active relationship with God, and those who don’t. Does that scare you, or does that motivate you? Why?

  • People Dynamics

    Exodus 6:1–13, Psalm 37:1–24, 1 Corinthians 3:18–4:5

    “I want you to walk up to your estranged family (who just so happens to be the world power at the moment) and tell them to release their biggest labor force.” Hmm. We are so accustomed to Moses’ story that we often will miss pieces of the story. Everyone in your family gets along, right? Even the distant cousins, right? Of course not! Sometimes the biggest and longest lasting fights and painful relationships are within families. When the family is a family of power and influence (such as Egypt was), the significance of family relationships or battles becomes much larger than just interpersonal relationships. On top of that, Moses was only an adopted child, and he was adopted from the Hebrews he’s being sent to lead out of Egypt. No pressure. What crazy person would dare oppose one of the most (if not the most) powerful militaries in the world? Who’d (basically) walk up to the leader to basically thumb his nose at him? No one. It’s just not normal!

    Moses’ reality was that he would have to oppose his powerful adoptive family who wouldn’t be happy with him. He’d also have the tension within his extended biological family, many of whom wouldn’t trust him because he was from Pharaoh’s house and he had run away years ago. This just wasn’t a good place to be. When in the middle of these two tensions, we have to give Moses credit, he kept a balanced head, no matter much either “side” would have driven him crazy.

    When we deal with opposing tensions we can all have a tendency to lose it a bit. We can lose our temper, our positivity, our humor. We often end up fighting ourselves first. While we may not be currently upset or caught between evildoers, as the psalmist is concerned about, the agitation is often the same. We can be caught between two “goods”, two “bads”, and even between a good and a bad. Where we turn when in a place of tension, tells us where our heart is focused. If we turn to work, money, alcohol, drugs, and such, we can soften the tension for time, but only put it off. Our families often receive the brunt of our tension, but they generally cannot deal with it either. That leaves us with God, who can handle it all. Or, at least that is how it should be. Instead, we often try to hand off our decisions, responsibilities, or consequences to others, especially those we perceive as smarter, wiser, or more powerful than ourselves. That is the wisdom of the world.

    We are often reminded of the craziness, futility, and just plain wrongness that pervades humanity, yet for some reason, we insist on its wisdom. We look around the world wondering what’s wrong. The world around us is the expression of human wisdom. It is not that God’s wisdom is not there, but human “wisdom” is so common it seems as if God’s wisdom is not there. This is why Paul says the (worldly) wise should become fools. For when they see their human wisdom as foolishness, they can finally become aware of God’s wisdom. And this brings us back to Moses. According to the world, he was a fool. He was in awe of (often “feared” is used) God, which is the beginning of true wisdom.

    1) Lent is often viewed as foolishness by many. Why give up the good stuff? What is the Godly wisdom of giving up the “good” stuff?

    2) It is often easy to “know” the story of Bible characters. What happens if you put yourself in their place? Does that change your perspective of them and their story?

    3) Wisdom and knowledge can be passed on. We focus a lot on wordly wisdom, as we want our legacy (children, grandchildren, etc.) to be successful in this world. However, worldly wisdom is often at odds with God’s wisdom. How have you dealt with that? How can you help others deal with it?

    FD) Who do you ask for guidance when you have 2 good (or bad) decisions to choose from?

  • Relating Loss

    Genesis 2:20–3:20, Proverbs 3:19–35, Isaiah 3:1–14

    When telling a story it is often best to start at the beginning. Sometimes authors don’t for they feel it might ruin the tension of the story. Other times, the story does start at the beginning for the main character, but that main character is in the middle of a much bigger story which affects the main character. All of us are in the midst of our life story. Our life story takes place among the myriad of life stories of others. Genesis isn’t that way. It’s the beginning. We often become overly concerned of things beyond, “God made it.” We become concerned with how, when, how long, etc. God did make it. That’s the answer. Genesis is and yet isn’t about Creation and God’s making of it. Really it’s about God’s story of God and humankind. The first part of Genesis is more like setting the stage for what is to come…humankind.

    God’s story of humankind is one of relationship. Even the naming of the creatures is relational (if you question that, think of how labeling words spoken can damage relationships). However, God only made one human. God made Adam out of dust, yet chose to make Eve out of Adam. This reinforces not just an emotional relationship, but one to the depths of their bones.

    God didn’t just leave it at that. Based on Genesis 3:8, we can infer that God regularly walked in the garden. Whether that was a poetic license or not, it means that there was an active and ongoing relationship between God and humankind. God didn’t just create and go. God stayed in relationship. And yet, humankind allowed an individual other than God to enter into their relationship with God, and humankind stepped away from relationship with God.

    God “founded the earth by wisdom,” and yet here is humankind walking (sometimes running away) from it. Sadly, there are many who call themselves Christians who are doing it faster than those who don’t. And before you think it is over certain issues of the day, it is so much more than that, and so much deeper. Humankind cannot get along with itself. When we rely on human understanding and wisdom, we will always end up short. In Proverbs, we read about maintaining sound wisdom and discretion. The soundness is based upon God and a relationship with God. Imagine if all of humankind, including us, followed these well. What an amazing place we would live in.

    The consequences of ignoring this God-filled wisdom is loss. Isaiah talks about what is about to happen to Judah’s leaders, but read the list of those to be removed. In all likelihood, you can quickly start tying names and positions to the leaders called out. While Isaiah quotes God as saying, “I will,” if we are honest with ourselves, and about ourselves, cultures and country, we have done a pretty good job at placing unstable and immature people as leaders at many levels (local, county, state, national). Are we at the point where people don’t want to be leaders? Not yet, but at the rate we are turning on each other, it won’t be long.

    1) Relationship is a core piece of Christian thought. In particular relationship with God. Many things can damage our relationship with God, especially habits which were once good, but are no longer. Can you think of anything that has been hampering or damaging your relationship with God?

    2) Why are we so quick to allow others to interfere with our relationship with God?

    3) We are often quick to cast our political, religious, cultural, national rivals as fools or unstable. What does that tell us about ourselves?
    FD) Have you ever wanted to create your own place? Would you create that place to be like a god, or for a different reason?

  • Forgiveness Such As This

    Psalm 38, Leviticus 5:1–19, Luke 17:1–4

    “Already forgotten.”

    “Don’t worry about it.”

    We sometimes hear these words when trying to apologize or make amends for something we have done wrong to another. Sometimes the person says these words as a veiled acceptance for the apology. Sometimes it was so inconsequential to them that they spent little-to-no time thinking about it after it occurs. Forgiveness is often spoken of in churches, encouraging each of us to forgive wrongs committed against us. Much of the time it is forgiveness towards those we are distant from (physically or by death, for example). Not that this isn’t good. The question is, can we accept apologies and repentance when given?

    In this passage in Leviticus, the phrase, “…without being aware of it, but later recognizes it…,” is repeated multiple times. How often have we done something wrong, and only later realized we did it? Sometimes we do something and don’t know that it is wrong, but we do we are to make amends once we realize it. This should be the state of our relationships with one another, if we become aware that we have offended, we make amends. The reciprocal of this is being grace-filled people. Often people will innocently and/or ignorantly hurt us. Often it is actually the remnant of an old hurt that someone has triggered, yet we hold this new person (and new offense) against the old pain. We then go down the grace-less path of thinking, “they should have known better,” or something like that. Or, if something is so obvious an offense, we are offended both by the offense and their ignorance (or we sometimes say their callousness). God doesn’t operate that way, which this passage in Leviticus shows. If God doesn’t behave that way, why would we?

    Yet, it seems that many people inside and outside of the church are unable to forgive and unable to accept apologies and/or repentance. We can look at a lot of media stories where people said what is now viewed as stupid and harmful, yet at the time they said it, it was well within the norm. Take the show Seinfeld (proudly a comedy show about nothing). It has been running in syndication for years, but viewership is dropping. Millennials and Generation Z do not find the humor in much of it (granted, the humor was of limited appeal anyway), as much of the cultural language that was appropriate and even “sensitive” for the time is now inappropriate and horribly insensitive. Before you say, “they’re a bunch of snowflakes,” or “they need to stiffen up,” or “they need some thicker skin,” or “they’re just looking for something to be offended by,” think about your own response. Instead of feeling attacked or put on the spot, realize that you are behaving the same way they are…offended.

    There is a huge cultural change occurring, and some of it, though painful, is actually good. Ultimately, we are headed toward a kinder and gentler nation (truly). It’s just that right now we’re using hammers and chisels on each other getting off the high spots, and it hurts. There are some exceptions to the general tendency towards kinder and gentler (and it isn’t just one name, either). The reality is that our cultural and generational language is getting a long-needed overhaul. Really, this is a good thing. What has happened, and many of us are unaware of it, is that offenses, abuses, oppression, suppression have become such a part of our cultural and generational language that we are often unaware what message we convey with the words we use. The reason this is important to truly understand is that while we go through this paradigm shift we are going to offend each other…a lot.

    This is why having a personal understanding and responsibility regarding grace, forgiveness, repentance, and reconciliation is so important. We can keep being offending. We can keep remembering the hurts and offenses, or we can be like Jesus.

    When Jesus is speaking to the disciples (similar words can be found in Matthew 18:6–9, 18:21–22) there is an underlying question of, how much forgiveness is enough? When we ask that question we are speaking from the flesh (or sin) nature, rather than the saved (or sanctified) nature. John Ortberg (Pastor, Menlo Church) proposes that Christians use up more grace than “sinners” because grace is God’s power at work in us. So, use that grace with one another! God’s grace is unending! As long as you keep using it and keep asking for it, God will keep pouring it! Remembering who offended us and how is easy (and natural), it’s what we do afterward that shows whether it is us or Jesus who is the Lord of our lives.

    1) An unspoken part of Jesus’ directive on repetitive forgiveness is directed at the forgiver: accept and forgive wholeheartedly. Have you ever “forgiven” someone, but held back from wholeheartedness by saying (in effect), “trust but verify”? If you hold back on forgiveness by even the tiniest portion, have you really forgiven?

    2) There is always a balance of forgiveness versus safety. Is it really “versus”, though? In this context, repentance and forgiveness are tied together. How does that work in your life?

    3) What does the passage in Leviticus show about God’s perspective of human nature?

    FD) What is the difference between apologizing and repenting?

  • Heart of Food

    Psalm 141, Daniel 1:1-16, Mark 7:14-23

    With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, chocolate and sweets often come to mind. Food is often a significant part of gatherings whether they be gatherings of family, friends, or church. Barring royalty or the blessings of developed nations (mostly), food scarcity is a real thing. In the days of Scripture, people would spend either the majority of their time or wages to secure food. When food is such a significant part of your efforts, food can take on deeper cultural and religious meaning.

    The story of Daniel begins with a test of food. It is easy, but not certain, to believe that the king’s food did not meet Jewish dietary law. Or it could be that the food was first “sacrificed” to idols before being eaten. Or it could be that the four wanted to show that their sympathies were with their starving fellow Jews. Regardless, food was the center of a challenge. As the four were Jewish captives, this was viewed as a political move. The religious overtones within Scripture are there, as well. All of it revolves around food.

    In Jesus’ time, there were many rules regarding food. The Jewish religious rules were intended to fulfill the requirements of Israelite law. And the religious leaders imposed further rules, just to assure that the original rules weren’t even close to being infringed upon. Under Roman rule, however, Jewish dietary law also took on political overtones. Dietary laws were often used to socially separate Jews from Romans, creating a barrier between people. Food, one of the unifying themes of humanity, was now a separator, not an uniter.

    Jesus’ declaration regarding dietary laws was indeed not just about the food. It is definitely about relationships. Jesus takes the concept of food and turns it into the matter of the heart. When we look at how food was used to separate people, we can see Jesus’ point. Food was the outward symbol of an inward truth.

    1) Have you been the guest of a family whose taste of foods was distinctly different than yours? How did you react? Did it impact your ability to fellowship with them around the table?

    2) While Jesus was correcting the excesses of the Jewish religious leaders, he is correcting us. What outward symbol (food, attire, accent, stuff) have you ever used to categorize another person? Does that categorization help or hinder looking at others like Christ?

    FD) Why do we use food in our gatherings? Why is that good? Why is that bad?