Devotion.al

Tag: relationships

  • People Dynamics

    Exodus 6:1–13, Psalm 37:1–24, 1 Corinthians 3:18–4:5

    “I want you to walk up to your estranged (who just so happens to be the world at the moment) and tell them to release their biggest labor force.” Hmm. We are so accustomed to Moses’ story that we often will miss pieces of the story. Everyone in your family gets along, right? Even the distant cousins, right? Of course not! Sometimes the biggest and longest lasting fights and painful are within families. When the family is a family of power and influence (such as Egypt was), the significance of family relationships or battles becomes much larger than just interpersonal relationships. On top of that, Moses was only an adopted child, and he was adopted from the Hebrews he’s being sent to lead out of Egypt. No pressure. What crazy person would dare oppose one of the most (if not the most) powerful militaries in the world? Who’d (basically) walk up to the leader to basically thumb his nose at him? No one. It’s just not normal!

    Moses’ reality was that he would have to oppose his powerful adoptive family who wouldn’t be happy with him. He’d also have the tension within his extended biological family, many of whom wouldn’t him because he was from Pharaoh’s house and he had run away years ago. This just wasn’t a good place to be. When in the middle of these two tensions, we have to Moses credit, he kept a balanced head, no matter much either “side” would have driven him crazy.

    When we deal with opposing tensions we can all have a tendency to lose it a bit. We can lose our temper, our positivity, our humor. We often up fighting ourselves first. While we may not be currently upset or caught between evildoers, as the psalmist is concerned about, the agitation is often the same. We can be caught between two “goods”, two “bads”, and even between a good and a bad. Where we turn when in a place of tension, tells us where our is focused. If we turn to work, money, , drugs, and such, we can soften the tension for time, but only put it off. Our families often receive the brunt of our tension, but they generally cannot deal with it either. That leaves us with God, who can handle it all. Or, at least that is how it should be. Instead, we often try to hand off our decisions, responsibilities, or consequences to others, especially those we perceive as smarter, wiser, or more powerful than ourselves. That is the wisdom of the world.

    We are often reminded of the craziness, futility, and just plain wrongness that pervades humanity, yet for some reason, we insist on its wisdom. We look around the world wondering what’s wrong. The world around us is the expression of wisdom. It is not that God’s wisdom is not there, but human “wisdom” is so common it seems as if God’s wisdom is not there. This is why says the (worldly) wise should become fools. For when they see their human wisdom as foolishness, they can finally become aware of God’s wisdom. And this brings us back to Moses. According to the world, he was a fool. He was in awe of (often “feared” is used) God, which is the beginning of true wisdom.

    1) Lent is often viewed as foolishness by many. Why give up the good stuff? What is the Godly wisdom of giving up the “good” stuff?

    2) It is often easy to “know” the story of Bible characters. What happens if you put yourself in their place? Does that change your perspective of them and their story?

    3) Wisdom and knowledge can be passed on. We focus a lot on wordly wisdom, as we want our legacy (children, grandchildren, etc.) to be successful in this world. However, worldly wisdom is often at odds with God’s wisdom. How have you dealt with that? How can you help others deal with it?

    FD) Who do you ask for guidance when you have 2 good (or bad) decisions to choose from?

  • Relating Loss

    Genesis 2:20–3:20, Proverbs 3:19–35, Isaiah 3:1–14

    When telling a story it is often best to start at the beginning. Sometimes authors don’t for they feel it might ruin the tension of the story. Other times, the story does start at the beginning for the main , but that main character is in the middle of a much bigger story which affects the main character. All of us are in the midst of our life story. Our life story takes place among the myriad of life stories of . Genesis isn’t that way. It’s the beginning. We often become overly concerned of things beyond, “God made it.” We become concerned with how, when, how long, etc. God did make it. That’s the answer. Genesis is and yet isn’t about Creation and God’s making of it. Really it’s about God’s story of God and humankind. The first part of Genesis is more like setting the stage for what is to come…humankind.

    God’s story of humankind is one of . Even the naming of the creatures is relational (if you question that, think of how labeling words spoken can damage ). However, God only made one . God made Adam out of , yet chose to make Eve out of Adam. This reinforces not just an emotional relationship, but one to the depths of their bones.

    God didn’t just leave it at that. Based on Genesis 3:8, we can infer that God regularly walked in the garden. Whether that was a poetic license or not, it means that there was an active and ongoing relationship between God and humankind. God didn’t just create and go. God stayed in relationship. And yet, humankind allowed an other than God to enter into their relationship with God, and humankind stepped away from relationship with God.

    God “founded the earth by ,” and yet here is humankind walking (sometimes running away) from it. Sadly, there are many who call themselves Christians who are doing it faster than those who don’t. And before you think it is over certain issues of the day, it is so much more than that, and so much deeper. Humankind cannot get along with itself. When we rely on human understanding and wisdom, we will always end up short. In Proverbs, we read about maintaining sound wisdom and discretion. The soundness is based upon God and a relationship with God. Imagine if all of humankind, including us, followed these well. What an amazing place we would live in.

    The consequences of ignoring this God-filled wisdom is . Isaiah talks about what is about to happen to Judah’s leaders, but read the list of those to be removed. In all likelihood, you can quickly start tying names and positions to the leaders called out. While Isaiah quotes God as saying, “I will,” if we are honest with ourselves, and about ourselves, cultures and country, we have done a pretty good job at placing unstable and immature people as leaders at many levels (local, county, state, national). Are we at the point where people don’t want to be leaders? Not yet, but at the rate we are turning on each other, it won’t be long.

    1) Relationship is a core piece of thought. In particular relationship with God. Many things can damage our relationship with God, especially habits which were once good, but are no longer. Can you think of anything that has been hampering or damaging your relationship with God?

    2) Why are we so quick to allow others to interfere with our relationship with God?

    3) We are often quick to cast our political, religious, cultural, national rivals as fools or unstable. What does that tell us about ourselves?
    FD) Have you ever wanted to create your own place? Would you create that place to be like a god, or for a different reason?

  • Forgiveness Such As This

    Psalm 38, Leviticus 5:1–19, Luke 17:1–4

    “Already forgotten.”

    “Don’t worry about it.”

    We sometimes hear these words when trying to apologize or make amends for something we have done wrong to another. Sometimes the person says these words as a veiled acceptance for the apology. Sometimes it was so inconsequential to them that they spent little-to-no time thinking about it after it occurs. Forgiveness is often spoken of in churches, encouraging each of us to forgive wrongs committed against us. Much of the time it is forgiveness towards those we are distant from (physically or by , for example). Not that this isn’t good. The question is, can we accept apologies and repentance when given?

    In this passage in Leviticus, the phrase, “…without being aware of it, but later recognizes it…,” is repeated multiple times. How often have we done something wrong, and only later realized we did it? Sometimes we do something and don’t know that it is wrong, but we do we are to make amends once we realize it. This should be the state of our with one another, if we become aware that we have offended, we make amends. The reciprocal of this is being grace-filled people. Often people will innocently and/or ignorantly hurt us. Often it is actually the remnant of an old hurt that someone has triggered, yet we hold this new person (and new offense) against the old pain. We then go down the grace-less path of thinking, “they should have known better,” or something like that. Or, if something is so obvious an offense, we are offended both by the offense and their ignorance (or we sometimes say their callousness). God doesn’t operate that way, which this passage in Leviticus shows. If God doesn’t behave that way, why would we?

    Yet, it seems that many people inside and outside of the church are unable to forgive and unable to accept apologies and/or repentance. We can look at a lot of media stories where people said what is now viewed as stupid and harmful, yet at the time they said it, it was well within the norm. Take the show Seinfeld (proudly a comedy show about nothing). It has been running in syndication for years, but viewership is dropping. Millennials and Generation Z do not find the humor in much of it (granted, the humor was of limited appeal anyway), as much of the cultural language that was appropriate and even “sensitive” for the time is now inappropriate and horribly insensitive. Before you say, “they’re a bunch of snowflakes,” or “they need to stiffen up,” or “they need some thicker skin,” or “they’re just looking for something to be offended by,” think about your own . Instead of feeling attacked or put on the spot, realize that you are behaving the same way they are…offended.

    There is a huge cultural occurring, and some of it, though painful, is actually good. Ultimately, we are headed toward a kinder and gentler nation (truly). It’s just that right now we’re using hammers and chisels on each other getting off the high spots, and it hurts. There are some exceptions to the general tendency towards kinder and gentler (and it isn’t just one name, either). The reality is that our cultural and generational language is getting a long-needed overhaul. Really, this is a good thing. What has happened, and many of us are unaware of it, is that offenses, abuses, oppression, suppression have become such a part of our cultural and generational language that we are often unaware what message we convey with the words we use. The reason this is important to truly understand is that while we go through this paradigm shift we are going to offend each other…a lot.

    This is why having a personal understanding and responsibility regarding grace, forgiveness, repentance, and is so important. We can keep being offending. We can keep remembering the hurts and offenses, or we can be like .

    When Jesus is speaking to the disciples (similar words can be found in Matthew 18:6–9, 18:21–22) there is an underlying question of, how much forgiveness is enough? When we that question we are speaking from the flesh (or ) nature, rather than the saved (or sanctified) nature. John Ortberg (Pastor, Menlo Church) proposes that Christians use up more grace than “sinners” because grace is God’s at work in us. So, use that grace with one another! God’s grace is unending! As long as you keep using it and keep asking for it, God will keep pouring it! Remembering who offended us and how is easy (and natural), it’s what we do afterward that shows whether it is us or Jesus who is the Lord of our lives.

    1) An unspoken part of Jesus’ directive on repetitive forgiveness is directed at the forgiver: accept and forgive wholeheartedly. Have you ever “forgiven” someone, but held back from wholeheartedness by saying (in effect), “ but verify”? If you hold back on forgiveness by even the tiniest portion, have you really forgiven?

    2) There is always a balance of forgiveness versus safety. Is it really “versus”, though? In this context, repentance and forgiveness are tied together. How does that work in your life?

    3) What does the passage in Leviticus show about God’s perspective of human nature?

    FD) What is the difference between apologizing and repenting?

  • Heart of Food

    Psalm 141, Daniel 1:1-16, Mark 7:14-23

    With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, chocolate and sweets often come to mind. Food is often a significant part of gatherings whether they be gatherings of , friends, or . Barring royalty or the of developed nations (mostly), food scarcity is a real thing. In the days of Scripture, people would spend either the majority of their time or to secure food. When food is such a significant part of your efforts, food can take on deeper cultural and religious meaning.

    The story of Daniel begins with a test of food. It is easy, but not certain, to believe that the king’s food did not Jewish dietary law. Or it could be that the food was first “sacrificed” to idols before being eaten. Or it could be that the four wanted to show that their sympathies were with their starving fellow Jews. Regardless, food was the center of a challenge. As the four were Jewish captives, this was viewed as a political . The religious overtones within Scripture are there, as well. All of it revolves around food.

    In Jesus’ time, there were many rules regarding food. The Jewish religious rules were intended to fulfill the requirements of Israelite law. And the religious leaders imposed further rules, just to assure that the original rules weren’t even close to being infringed upon. Under Roman rule, however, Jewish dietary law also took on political overtones. Dietary laws were often used to socially Jews from Romans, creating a barrier between people. Food, one of the unifying themes of humanity, was now a separator, not an uniter.

    Jesus’ declaration regarding dietary laws was indeed not just about the food. It is definitely about . Jesus takes the concept of food and turns it into the matter of the . When we look at how food was used to separate people, we can see Jesus’ point. Food was the outward symbol of an inward .

    1) Have you been the guest of a family whose taste of foods was distinctly different than yours? How did you react? Did it impact your ability to fellowship with them around the table?

    2) While Jesus was correcting the excesses of the Jewish religious leaders, he is correcting us. What outward symbol (food, attire, accent, stuff) have you ever used to categorize another person? Does that categorization help or hinder looking at others like Christ?

    FD) Why do we use food in our gatherings? Why is that good? Why is that bad?

  • Freely Walking

    1 Samuel 2:1–10, John 8:31–36

    Hannah’s joy-filled of for her son Samuel is the wonderful of a woman who had been denied the (cultural) gift children…and then was gifted Samuel. In her case, it was the rival wife (Peninnah) who continually taunted her. Hannah’s (and Peninnah’s) husband, Elkanah, loved her despite her childlessness, and during the special festivals, gave her a double portion, her honor above Peninnah. Elkanah did his best to make Hannah feel and loved, but her heart wasn’t on the same page. She went to the Lord in prayer, and the Lord answered her.

    Samuel was born, and Hannah’s shame was done away with. This prayer is amazing. There is joy, praise, thanksgiving…and bittersweetness.

    In faith and faithfulness, Hannah gave her son to the Lord. There is an echo here of the firstborn belonging to God. Hannah did not perform an animal sacrifice. She gave her son. While her heart was full of finally being a mother, her heart was hurting.

    However, just as she was to God, God was gracious to her. She had more children and was now the mother she longed to be. She had been freed to be who she wanted to be.

    One of the greatest promises of Jesus is to be free of the chains that bind us. We can be like Hannah, bound by both societal/cultural chains, by the chains we set upon ourselves, or by the chains that our mistakes become.

    The Jews, for example, had chains of blood. They believed their salvation was tied to their bloodline. By that understanding, they had chained themselves to rigors that God had not intended. Instead of being children of God, they had become “slaves” of the rules in the house of God.

    Jesus wanted to break them free of their chains. The sad is that we often become so comfortable in our chains that we do not want them to go away. The weight, while still weighing us down, is comfortable.

    Transformation of our relationship with God is the fulfillment of the Christian life. When we follow our understanding of God’s desires for us, it is not about rules. It is about a loving response to God the who loved us before we knew him.

    When we cannot step beyond the rules to relationship, we do not get the true power of living free in Jesus Christ. When we don’t invest in our relationship with God, we are just statues in the house of God that cannot sing the praise and glory of God.

    • 1) What thoughts and habits are still keeping your walk with Christ empty or shallow?
    • 2) Can you relate to Hannah’s freedom? How is it different than we often think of freedom?
    • 3) We often tie our self- to others’ perceptions and values of us. How does looking at the freedom that Jesus offers challenge that?
    • FD) How do rules create and limit ?
  • Embracing Difference

    Embracing Difference

    Genesis 29:18-35, Deuteronomy 10:12-22, Psalm 5

    Jacob found himself in a strange situation. The wife he thought he had spent 7 years of his to earn the right to marry was not the one his -in-law had presented to him. Laban set up a dysfunctional marriage (two, actually) by doing this. The sisters would be competing for their husband’s affections. Children became trophies over the other sister. Yet, God chose these children born in a of broken to become (eventually) the leaders of a tribe that changed the world.

    All of us have experiences of family brokenness, whether it was our immediate family, extended family, spouse’s family, the family of a friend, or the family that we have in the . Sadly, the majority of relationships involve brokenness, whether ours or someone else’s.

    In the midst of his last commission to the Israelites, Moses brings in two forms of brokenness. The first is in the form of family: fatherless and widowed. This truly would be a of familial brokenness, as there were no family to take care of: children with no parents, and widows with no children. In a culture that valued family, and relied upon family to function, this was catastrophic. The orphaned and widowed could be viewed as cursed. Being so alone without family was inconceivable. Then Moses goes a step further and brings in the . This person, whether by war, slavery, abandonment, fleeing, was not only not with family, they were among people of completely different families.

    The orphan, the widow and the foreigner were the ultimate example of broken family connections, as they had none. Even today, we avoid those that are different than we are. There is something in the case of orphaned, widowed and foreigner (even in the U.S., a country of immigrants) that triggers some of our deepest fears and insecurities.

    Moses calls on the Israelites to them anyways. As we are called through the love of God, we are also called to live this life of love.

    1) How can we show love to ?

    2) Orphaned, widowed and foreigner are relational terms. Think beyond their immediate definition. For example, the foreigner may be the new person in the neighborhood, at work or at church. Who are the orphaned, widowed and foreigner that God has placed in your lives?

    3) Why do we often get so obsessed with the differences between ourselves and others, rather than focus on the similarities?

    KD) How do welcome and love people different from you?

  • Joy in Redemption

    Joy in Redemption

    Genesis 25:25-34, Exodus 15:12-18, Psalm 23

    The life of Isaac and Jacob—the patriarchs of the tribes of Israel—is not ideal. Favoritism of is shown. Despising of family and property is displayed through hunger. This is not a family form to follow. God’s Word often shows that the people that God chose to carry his name and weren’t perfect. In fact, some of them seem to have very few redeeming qualities. In other words, God chose to carry his name and blessing through people just like us.

    Moses’ exultation of God in Exodus can seem overbearing toward people who don’t follow God. The entire purpose of that overbearingness is to show God’s and glory through a people despised and rejected. In fact, this is an echo of the passage in Genesis, for some of the people who are opposing of the Israelites (coming into their inheritance) are the descendants of Esau who despised his inheritance. God leads and loves those on the outside.

    Psalm 23 is probably the best-known Psalm, even outside of Christian and Jewish circles. In it, God’s care of his people is first presented in the role of a . As the shepherd, God makes the sheep lie down and . When the shepherd (God) does lead the sheep, they are so confident and in God, that they followed through darkness and .

    The Psalm then transforms from sheep to a person for whom the table is set. In other words, the sheep has now become the guest. That is not a small transformation, to go from stubborn (won’t rest), to following (through fear and ), to guest.

    1) The family in Genesis is not great. How are the relationships shown between people: Isaac, Rebekah, Esau, Jacob? Think of how scripture shows and doesn’t show those relationships.

    2) Redemption is one of the biggest ways God shows his love. How is redemption shown in each of today’s passages?

    3) What imagery attracts you most in Psalm 23? What do you think that shows you about a need in your life that should be filled by God, rather than the world?

    KD) Why do you think that God uses the image of sheep when he talks about his people?

  • Peace and Holiness

    Peace and Holiness

    Ezekiel 37:24-28, Romans 12:9-18, Hebrews 12:7-15

    “I will make a of peace with them…”
    Ezekiel 37:26

    “Live in harmony with one another…”
    Romans 12:16

    “If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peach with everyone.”
    Romans 12:18

    “Pursue peace with everyone, and holiness—without it no one will see the Lord.”
    Hebrews 12:14

    When God speaks to Ezekiel, the consequences of a outside of and away from God are showing up to the Israelites, and it is not a pretty picture. Something to understand throughout Ezekiel is that while the consequences of not living life with God is bad, God promises . Especially a hope which cannot be earned. God makes the new covenant of peace.

    We, too, have a covenant with peace to live out. It is the covenant of peace with . In Romans 12, Paul is talking specifically about the peace between members of the Christian . However, this peace is supposed to also spill out into our outside of the church framily.

    The author of Hebrews, however, makes what can be chilling ties to peace with others: holiness and divine life. Mercifully, the author of Hebrews uses the “pursue.” Other translations have it as “strive for” or “chase after.” As we read yesterday, peace requires effort.

    Peace and holiness are tied together by the author of the Hebrews. This is not unreasonable, as the ultimate peace is given by God who is . The importance of living at peace with one another—especially, but not exclusively, in the church framily—cannot be overstated. If the Children of God are not at peace with one another, what kind of peace can they share with others?

    1) What does it mean to you that “no one will see the Lord” when it comes to being at peace with one another and holiness?

    2) Is being at peace with one another important to you? Why or why not?

    KD) We all struggle with being at peace with one another. Are you pursuing peace with others? What are you willing to up to have peace?